Ssica and Sour Girl

Going through this blog one may find tags of sour girl and ssica. These were two people who you may know or may have met at one point in time, whom when I met, shone a light upon my life that will be hard to forget. Ssica, a random hippie girl I met outside of NYE Phish in Miami '09 who I have come to terms with that I will never see again, and Sour Girl is one of two humanitarian workers met just around the same time as Ssica, of whom I mistakenly fell in love with when all she wanted was some peace, quiet, and fun. Sadly, such is life. These women are two forces that drive my writing at the moment, and probably will for a minute. It's hard to put a lot of these things down, and sharing them is even crazier in some sense. Though it helps me heal, and it helps me remember for future note of what humanity is, and what it is capable of. So I thought I'd just write this down to remind myself, and inform others. Also, sour girl has dissipated from my life in such a way that I may never see her again. The world can be too sweet without her around to help me remember. Miss you, you freak.

Teachings of a lemon

The life she led
made her hate
the simple things
that life had made.

It wasn't fair
to treat her kind
when all she wanted
was to be left behind.

Could it be
that her own love
couldn't be shared
because her dove
had been blown off
by a rogue bomb.

It's not so strange
to feel like this
when someone true
leaves your smile
locked away
like a memory.

If I could see her
I would still miss her
though now she's gone
and all I have
is diatribe after diatribe
telling me I'm bad

that everything done
has been in vain
that the reason she even
tried to love
was because it eased her pain
momentarily

enough for her
to get away
from all the things
that made her sway.
And so she said
to me one night

You've made it all up
and now it's time to flight.

My favorite mourning treat

This morning I woke up
and it wasn't that I felt alone
as much as I felt left out
of something greater
I just don't know what.

It wasn't like it hasn't happened before
it occurred to me once or twice
all in the past
but now this will last
until I'm out of my mind.

At least thats what the lass
who I last had in my arms
said to me once
in a car ride to a bar
that insanity settles in at 25.