Dearest Sour-girl,

I don't know why I still miss you. Even in the arms of strangers I think of you. I compare others to you, and even through all of the shit you still shine brighter. I must be sicker than I thought. Why do I enjoy this pain of knowing I will never see you? Why do I torture myself over someone who will never love as they are loved? Maybe it's because what we had was unconditional. Maybe it's because I'm one fucked up individual. But then I remember about the bruises, and find a certain spot on my chest still tender to the touch, my own or anyone's. Then I remember, that love is pain and thus eternal.

Forever lost in your eyes.

The Needle

Every time the needle tears through her flesh

to find that jumbled mess she likes to call a vein

it is her soul which slowly seeps out in amber drops

down her arm, pressure tied off by a tourniquet.

In order to forget the pain left behind by heavy hands

to extinguish flames burning so bright

that only the milky waters of the river Alf

may extinguish her core in an explosion

of eternal ecstasy
an orgasm
meant to last an eternity

but only felt for a few minutes

because nothing is eternal,

only pain is.

He wanted to hold her but he knew she was not aware

of her nature and way of being.

That her own life was inundated with the facts

that she was not like the rest of them

and quite aware she still pushed away

those who understood and were willing to help

to understand how life can be and is, 'cos

when the world is a jigsaw you need to put it together.

He knew what she was and it scared her

he saw through her skin

onto the punctured veins

and it scarred her.

It never ceased to amaze him
her beauty eternal

the way eyes glowed in the light of the moon

tender fingers ran over scar tissue

soft kisses invaded her body

as he gave of himself to her.

Because it is no the way we think it is

not as if life has everything set up.

it is chaos in a civilized society

set up to illuminate the cauldrons of reality

with the hearth of hearts
beating strongly against one another

as she soaks her panties under her clothes

he grows inside his boxer shorts

both kissing on a couch

late at night

as her hair falls over his face

and she pulls upon his dreads.

 She drags him to the bedroom

and takes her pants off

as he grabs her from behind and with one hand

buried in her crotch

feels the rivers of love flowing fast

his cock jumps
she grabs it behind her

squeezing as it pulses, she turns around

penetrates his mouth with her tongue.

She sit's back onto the bed

legs spread, one hand saying

"Hither forth."

He kneels in front of her and kisses freckles

upon her face

neck

breasts

stomach

thighs

ankles

feet

legs

thighs

pelvis

he then swims into her

lashing his tongue

she thrusts herself onto him.

The needle comes out

it penetrates her vein

and the water of life pours into her

an orgasmic overflow

she caresses the shaft of her syringe

feels the pain and the memory go away.

Because in the dark

Can't buy snack packs, as

they have two servings,

after one you are satisfied and

the rest might just spoil.

Couldn't go to the movies

because in the dark,

when it's cold and scary,

there is no one to hold on to.

Didn't celebrate anything,

because it always reminds of

how dull it all is when

there is no one to share with.

Laugh at a favorite comedy show

babble "Oh Liz Lemon, you're so funny!"

at a screen in an empty apartment full of cats,

neighbors think you are crazy.

Go to sleep with a pillow in your arms,

because it's a subtle reminder of the

softness and warmth once felt

from a gentle encounter.

Look into green eyes with wonder, and

loose the self in the swirls.

Those eyes are not for you,

leave empty handed.