Four Letter Words

so often I think of the
things which I've done
that I knew would be
different
if only I'd taken time
to pay attention to what
was going on around me
instead of drifting off
into the spaces within
my mind
her eyes
lost in the moment.
but then I wouldn't know
what I do now, or how to look
for them,
signs.
hind sight is twenty twenty
they say.
knowing this I find that
Sour wasn't so sour
after all
and that my beach lover
is just trying to feel
me out for being either
someone seeking just sex
or an honest human being.
I certainly do hope that
she realizes my intentions
are not to just penetrate
her near the inner thigh
but rather her whole being from
head
to
toe.
I wish to be inside of her
underneath her skin
inside her brain
behind her eyes
in her taste buds
just as she is in mine.
I want her to stick around
for a very long time
maybe even one day we can
call each other mom and dad.
We will see though
once we hit the three month mark
whether this is true
or just infatuation
I can't wait for the results.
never before have I wanted to be
positive
for a disease spread from boy to girl
girl to boy
human to human
I want to be positive
for a four letter word.
let us
over react a little
vanity isn't always wrong
especially when shared with
someone like you.