"They all have a prize" she said,
"Each woman out there is willing,
has, probably is at this very moment,
selling herself for something.
Some do it for love, others for money,
there are those who do it for need
be it food drink or drug,
others just like the way it feels
to have a cock inside of them
that loveless embrace and meaningless fuck,
with some cash thrown on top
anything is good enough for them to cum."
She sips her coffee,
lights another cigarette
and as she looks down
cup in one hand resting on the table
bitting her pinky finger
then taking a big drag of smoke
and as she exhales she says
"But all of those women,
especially those who do it
for money or for drugs,
will have to fuck guys who are just dirty,
their cocks unwashed for days
with that white smegma shit on them
and who knows what else!
That rancid sweaty smell–
some stinking of garbage
others just violent assholes. You know,
the moment they close that door
those women are slaves to those men,
sex slaves. They've sold themselves
for twenty thousand pesos, their freedom
for one hour, they belong to them."
She takes another drag from her smoke,
her voice is shaky, her grip on the glass is tight.
"Those men are the kind of people
who'll do all sorts of perverted things,
especially to a young woman,
they like to see a pretty face wince in pain,
a pleasurable agony."
She looks towards the green mountains,
past the city skyline, past the busy and working city
as a serene air comes through the large windows
"I stopped doing that a long time ago,
sure I have my price, but it isn't some thing
just anyone can pay for. I gotta like you,
you've got to buy me dinner,
take me out dancing, show me
a good time around town.
Then, when we are back at your place,
then, and only after we've met MY
expectations, then you can ravage me,
or I you. Well, not you you, but
you know what I mean, don't you darling?"
She snuffs her cigarette.
Short stories, poems, among other play things. A constant work in progress. Forever changing.
Showing posts with label debauchery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label debauchery. Show all posts
27 July 2015
16 June 2015
This is the ebb of the tide of our love
I asked her if she was going to sell her body again
she said she didn't want to talk about it right then
so there was something to talk about
something to be aired
It wasn't hard to figure out,
she was making ends-meet when I met her
then once we hung out
she told me of all the evil things in her life
her boss who is always asking for head
because he said he needed to get off
it made him feel better, she said
his balls hurt, it was the clap
when I first noticed it
I showed her what was going on
she thought that always happened
that it was normal in all men
before I had gone to her work,
because she invited me to
every day she said I made her feel safe
for two whole months.
She was still working,
not making enough money
although the designs all went out
she made a measly dollar per
though when she staid on
without me there
doing her deed in the bathroom
she could pay
for her babys' food and then some
so she told me one day
it is over
that is that, I cannot have this with you
She got new clothes and make up
Her shoes were also new
everything about Her changed
Her demeanor towards me
there was another man
other men
the smell on her, the ebb
in her
unnatural
clap
slow
patient
rising out and through
and that fucker told her it was normal
for your dick to drip like that
and she believed him
bringing it into our bedroom
I loved her
with every ounce of my being
although with this betrayal
I could only learn to forget her
and these realizations were just the beginning...
she said she didn't want to talk about it right then
so there was something to talk about
something to be aired
It wasn't hard to figure out,
she was making ends-meet when I met her
then once we hung out
she told me of all the evil things in her life
her boss who is always asking for head
because he said he needed to get off
it made him feel better, she said
his balls hurt, it was the clap
when I first noticed it
I showed her what was going on
she thought that always happened
that it was normal in all men
before I had gone to her work,
because she invited me to
every day she said I made her feel safe
for two whole months.
She was still working,
not making enough money
although the designs all went out
she made a measly dollar per
though when she staid on
without me there
doing her deed in the bathroom
she could pay
for her babys' food and then some
so she told me one day
it is over
that is that, I cannot have this with you
She got new clothes and make up
Her shoes were also new
everything about Her changed
Her demeanor towards me
there was another man
other men
the smell on her, the ebb
in her
unnatural
clap
slow
patient
rising out and through
and that fucker told her it was normal
for your dick to drip like that
and she believed him
bringing it into our bedroom
I loved her
with every ounce of my being
although with this betrayal
I could only learn to forget her
and these realizations were just the beginning...
26 May 2015
"No, sabe que? Todo bien." Ella dijo.
It is a brand new day!
Gracias por las lecciones
De nada por las lecciones
I loved every minute inside you
De tus ojos
Y aun asi
me hayas dejado
quemando por dentro,
Estoy feliz.
I am happy,
because it didn't feel right
towards the end there.
It became something of a joke,
My love for you.
Que Dios os bendiga a los pecadores
Ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte,
Amen!
Que sigamos resando
por perdones ajenos, queriendo
momentos prestados
nunca devueltos.
Cambio de papeles
Click Click Click Click
Alma capturada digitalmente
The Ghost In The Shell, it
Whispers sweet nothings
to an ear eager to please, just then
emotions become toys
la lengua en la oreja.
There is something to be ware of:
Te ame.
Verdaderamente lo hice,
pero eso fue, y no sera.
En el nombre del Padre,
del Hijo, y del Espiritu Santo.
Gracias por las lecciones
De nada por las lecciones
I loved every minute inside you
De tus ojos
Y aun asi
me hayas dejado
quemando por dentro,
Estoy feliz.
I am happy,
because it didn't feel right
towards the end there.
It became something of a joke,
My love for you.
Que Dios os bendiga a los pecadores
Ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte,
Amen!
Que sigamos resando
por perdones ajenos, queriendo
momentos prestados
nunca devueltos.
Cambio de papeles
Click Click Click Click
Alma capturada digitalmente
The Ghost In The Shell, it
Whispers sweet nothings
to an ear eager to please, just then
emotions become toys
la lengua en la oreja.
There is something to be ware of:
Te ame.
Verdaderamente lo hice,
pero eso fue, y no sera.
En el nombre del Padre,
del Hijo, y del Espiritu Santo.
16 November 2014
Naked With Sour Girl
When she used to grab my shoulders, digging her nails
into my skin at the rhythm of our fucking, it used to be
enough to almost make me explode inside her. Now it’s not
enough to just have her nail marks on my back, I want
her bite marks on my neck, I want bruises on my sides
from her thighs wrapping themselves hard around me
as I pound and choke her into ecstasy eternal, my balls
covered in our cum.
There was something about needles that always
perturbed me, something about the way they would
plunge into my veins and then made all that liquid
disappear. It just never seemed natural. Then
one day I had my first taste of an opiate, intravenously,
and my relationship with needles changed drastically.
I had never felt such exhilaration at the elation of that hard
steel needle, plunging through my being, penetrating me,
then releasing its payload into my vein. It still
makes me hard every time I think about Sour Girl, my heroin.
Now this old companion has grown, it has
made its way into the circles I keep and
without fail has taken the heads of
a few people I’ve escaped hell with. There is
something to be said about the ones who have cut off
their own strings and burnt their own bridges, but that
is another poem all together about floating corpses
in the milky waters of the river Alf.
Gin used to taste terrible, its strong flavor would
make the sides of my tongue burn, the place where
my jaw and skull met would ache, much the way Vodka
makes me feel today. Then it was distasteful, but today
it is what I usually like to order, and with a simple “Gin
and Tonic, please,” my youth slips down my throat.
Speedy drugs had never been something I wanted to try,
look at, or even get into. Time starts to change its flow as
one gets older though, the days get shorter, the change of the seasons
becomes more apparent and enunciated by the aching
muscles and bones. To keep up through the pain and fatigue,
now there will always be methamphetamine.
Sometimes it is easy to forget when I meet you,
sometimes I’m reminded after I pass you.
It is not so much that I’m afraid of you,
but of the experience I’ll be missing. I eat my drugs
and drink my gin, toasting to old friends I’ll never see again.
into my skin at the rhythm of our fucking, it used to be
enough to almost make me explode inside her. Now it’s not
enough to just have her nail marks on my back, I want
her bite marks on my neck, I want bruises on my sides
from her thighs wrapping themselves hard around me
as I pound and choke her into ecstasy eternal, my balls
covered in our cum.
There was something about needles that always
perturbed me, something about the way they would
plunge into my veins and then made all that liquid
disappear. It just never seemed natural. Then
one day I had my first taste of an opiate, intravenously,
and my relationship with needles changed drastically.
I had never felt such exhilaration at the elation of that hard
steel needle, plunging through my being, penetrating me,
then releasing its payload into my vein. It still
makes me hard every time I think about Sour Girl, my heroin.
Now this old companion has grown, it has
made its way into the circles I keep and
without fail has taken the heads of
a few people I’ve escaped hell with. There is
something to be said about the ones who have cut off
their own strings and burnt their own bridges, but that
is another poem all together about floating corpses
in the milky waters of the river Alf.
Gin used to taste terrible, its strong flavor would
make the sides of my tongue burn, the place where
my jaw and skull met would ache, much the way Vodka
makes me feel today. Then it was distasteful, but today
it is what I usually like to order, and with a simple “Gin
and Tonic, please,” my youth slips down my throat.
Speedy drugs had never been something I wanted to try,
look at, or even get into. Time starts to change its flow as
one gets older though, the days get shorter, the change of the seasons
becomes more apparent and enunciated by the aching
muscles and bones. To keep up through the pain and fatigue,
now there will always be methamphetamine.
Sometimes it is easy to forget when I meet you,
sometimes I’m reminded after I pass you.
It is not so much that I’m afraid of you,
but of the experience I’ll be missing. I eat my drugs
and drink my gin, toasting to old friends I’ll never see again.
21 September 2014
Hot Box Rental
There is a hologram that reminds of your golden splendor
another apparition of irresistible charm and woe,
so full of love and willing to commit itself to a life of rendering.
All in the name of passion, a life of unforeseen circumstances.
27 August 2014
On a dream from a chance meeting
Had one with you in it. First off, I was at a hotel, expensive hotel, where my bag was stolen from the Sauna (?). When I was leaving, I noticed all of these people with weird things growing on them, so I headed straight for my bedroom to shower. The grand hall was enormous, mostly made of glass and crystal, women walked around in what appeared to be see through night gowns, but their faces... twisted and wretched. Lots of jewelry, and pretty things. This place was crowded. By the time I made it to my room, there were people there. It was strange, I only knew about half of them. I started to go into the shower when you walked in.
This got a little weird, because when you and I talked here, I wasn't in the hotel anymore, but riding on a car/bike. Something motorized. I was trying to get a hold of you to tell you about the party, but you were just screaming in my ear. I couldn't understand what you were saying. As this was going on, my bike headed towards a path full of hills and steep inclines, I had to hang up both of my phones in order to drive. Somehow I'm on the couch of the room again, and you are just wobbling around. Yes, wobbling, you were quite drunk. You kept saying how you were leaving, and that this shit was lame, that you had to see him. So I went to walk you out. The door led straight to the parking lot this time, and not the main hall. I was trying to talk to you, but you wouldn't listen, you'd just walk away faster every time I caught up.
Eventually you started to run, and I couldn't keep up at all. My knee, my weight... it all seemed to add up. Your drunk ass just kept running until someone in an orange Murcielago pulled you over. It was UN police. He asked for our ID, and all he had to do was just scan our fingers. This gave him all the info he needed. When he found out you were UN he relaxed, and commented on my tatts. I told him about them, and asked if he had any. At this point, he started to remove the hat he had on, and his head expanded greatly. First there was a butterfly and then a butterfly with glow sticks. Both lined up in the middle of his forehead like glowing antennae, which was now HUGE.
I wake up in my bedroom, you are nowhere to be seen, but I do have a piece of paper with the number of the room they gave you. 9005 or something. I try to get to your room cos we still haven't talked, but entering the elevator from the main hall, I fall into a movie (?) having to do with this disk looking thing that travels over and under water freely. It can do anything. So we head out and are following this rogue ship, but i don't want to follow no ship! We go underwater, and I can't breathe. Everything is just coming too fast while all I want to do is find you, and I can't keep the water from seeping up my nose into my lungs. I let go of the vehicle. I start to swim like a dolphin, towards this set of staircases that are going upwards. There is a light, I am drowning. I head towards it. It's a crystal door, heading into a hall. You are there, in crutches. One of your feet has been hurt. I'm trying to go as fast as I can, I don't want to miss talking to you. I swim as fast as I can, I attempt to scream, heading towards the light... And just as I'm about to reach the door to smash it and talk to you
I wake up.
21 August 2013
Temporary Crossing
When I tasted you
it seemed like something
we'd already done,
maybe a life time ago -
in another dimension,
another dream.
another dream.
Lips kissed yours
as the tongue caressed your open smile
as the tongue caressed your open smile
and with each lash you moaned,
back arched, hands lead
to squeezing proud tits
to squeezing proud tits
with little mounds,
standing to attention,
my attention.
standing to attention,
my attention.
Soft feel of thighs
against shoulders,
against shoulders,
moaning pleasures
of a kissed connection,
sound waves in the dark.
Lost for hours
between your meat
whispering sweet nothings
into you.
Never want to be found.
Fuck our escape.
Let us be.
Fuck our escape.
Let us be.
11 July 2013
There is no place (to loose your head) like home.
There is no place like home
it's a quaint little chant
said by people far away
in worlds filled with flying monkeys
talking lions, metal men,
and the occasional stuffed brainless idiot.
There is no place like home
where the heart is
where the mind rests
a place to hang your hat
a nice niche to call your own
a world packed with comfort.
There is no place like home?
Another day between four walls
spent time seeping through fingers
as the bacon grease smooths hair
cholesterol is just another name
they give to the golden goodness in the veins.
There is no place like home
to loose your gourd
speed through movies
reduce the vitality of self control
triumphantly cumming on their lips
after an hour of oral fixation.
There is no place like home
to isolate and enslave
the last bits of humanity
to which one holds on so dearly
as to not loose bits and pieces
along the way, trotting
down a path all too well known.
There is no place like home.
it's a quaint little chant
said by people far away
in worlds filled with flying monkeys
talking lions, metal men,
and the occasional stuffed brainless idiot.
There is no place like home
where the heart is
where the mind rests
a place to hang your hat
a nice niche to call your own
a world packed with comfort.
There is no place like home?
Another day between four walls
spent time seeping through fingers
as the bacon grease smooths hair
cholesterol is just another name
they give to the golden goodness in the veins.
There is no place like home
to loose your gourd
speed through movies
reduce the vitality of self control
triumphantly cumming on their lips
after an hour of oral fixation.
There is no place like home
to isolate and enslave
the last bits of humanity
to which one holds on so dearly
as to not loose bits and pieces
along the way, trotting
down a path all too well known.
There is no place like home.
04 July 2013
Possibilities are endless, but tell that to a corpse.
In the moments between sleep
with the shades drawn and
allowing just glimmers of sunlit
reflections of an everlasting green
that seeps its way onto walls
well known and forgotten,
breaths escape from lips
which are too tired for anything or anyone.
In between the covers
there is a corpse,
or soon to be at least,
and as a mind winds down to moments
captured and preserved
in formaldehyde filled jars
stacked around the room,
the realization strikes
that these memories
just don't taste the way they used to,
a realization made
as this bed which was
kinder to passions untold
becomes a coffin
once the covers wrap around
to keep and swallow whole
in the warmth and knowledge
of being dead to the world.
Dead to SourGirl.
05 June 2013
Second round of publications
03 November 2012
The Needle
Every time the needle tears through her flesh
to find that jumbled mess she likes to call a vein
it is her soul which slowly seeps out in amber drops
down her arm, pressure tied off by a tourniquet.
In order to forget the pain left behind by heavy hands
to extinguish flames burning so bright
that only the milky waters of the river Alf
may extinguish her core in an explosion
of eternal ecstasy
an orgasm
meant to last an eternity
an orgasm
meant to last an eternity
but only felt for a few minutes
because nothing is eternal,
only pain is.
He wanted to hold her but he knew she was not aware
of her nature and way of being.
That her own life was inundated with the facts
that she was not like the rest of them
and quite aware she still pushed away
those who understood and were willing to help
to understand how life can be and is, 'cos
when the world is a jigsaw you need to put it together.
He knew what she was and it scared her
he saw through her skin
onto the punctured veins
and it scarred her.
It never ceased to amaze him
her beauty eternal
her beauty eternal
the way eyes glowed in the light of the moon
tender fingers ran over scar tissue
soft kisses invaded her body
as he gave of himself to her.
Because it is no the way we think it is
not as if life has everything set up.
it is chaos in a civilized society
set up to illuminate the cauldrons of reality
with the hearth of hearts
beating strongly against one another
beating strongly against one another
as she soaks her panties under her clothes
he grows inside his boxer shorts
both kissing on a couch
late at night
as her hair falls over his face
and she pulls upon his dreads.
She drags him to the bedroom
and takes her pants off
as he grabs her from behind and with one hand
buried in her crotch
feels the rivers of love flowing fast
his cock jumps
she grabs it behind her
she grabs it behind her
squeezing as it pulses, she turns around
penetrates his mouth with her tongue.
She sit's back onto the bed
legs spread, one hand saying
"Hither forth."
He kneels in front of her and kisses freckles
upon her face
neck
breasts
stomach
thighs
ankles
feet
legs
thighs
pelvis
he then swims into her
lashing his tongue
she thrusts herself onto him.
The needle comes out
it penetrates her vein
and the water of life pours into her
an orgasmic overflow
she caresses the shaft of her syringe
feels the pain and the memory go away.
21 August 2012
I'd be Gay for you.
In the darkest of nights
and the brightest of days
you are the light
you are the shade
even though it's been so long
since I last kept your breath
inside of mine
I can still taste
the way your hair smelled
on top of our sweat
tears
secreted bodily fluids
meant to lubricate
as we turn into one
magnificent being
completely enveloped
in the moment
and lost to the world
because that's how you made me feel
make me feel
even though
I'm sure you've forgotten about it all
even burned me at your stake
it's something I'll never loose
such a sweet memory
tender
and smooth
like the skin on your breasts.
17 June 2012
Burnt Marshmallow
"Wretched night" are the words that escape his lips. Walking through the back alleys of the town, garbage lines the side of the buildings, some of it is made up like homes for the indigents and lost. Each step gets heavier and heavier with the passing of time, he needs his fix. Finally at his destination, a man in baggy clothes and baseball cap with shinny stickers on it looks him over.
"What will it be?" He knows his costumers by the visage of death drawn upon their beings.
"I just need the usual... It's been a long night." A stack of singles and fives is passed from one to the other, and as soon as it is counted a bag containing tiny blue pills is exchanged.
"See you soon."
----
When he gets back to his apartment she is waiting on the dirty old couch, a thing full of smells and stains that remark the past 2 years as if they'd been decades. Her thin lips are dry and chalked, a crust under her nose and bags under the eyes makes it hard to remember what she looked like before it all started. He puts his coat on the back of the door, and crunching past plastic cups and caps that litter the hallway he scratches at his head. Thin arms and even thinner wrists still manage to gather the tools of their addiction. Straws, tin foil, and a couple of lighters of which he can't recall if they are dead or not.
"What took so long?" she asks as her head wobbles, trying to sit up. He makes room for himself on the edge of the couch as he clears some of the table by tossing a heap of garbage to the floor.
"I was just thinking, maybe we ought to get out of here soon. I mean, like... get out of here, this town, start new somewhere else." He opens the baggie and takes two pills out, rips two pieces of tinfoil, and passes one of each to her. She grabs a straw and lighter just as he does and places the pill on the metallic surface. With the straw in her mouth she begins to burn the underside of the tinfoil, a smoldering crackling is emitted from the pill as it heats up and starts to smoke, she suctions the white smoke as the smell of burnt marshmallow fills the room. He follows suit.
As the pill melts, it moves on the tinfoil, making a dark spiral as it travels on the surface of the heated metal. Their lungs absorbing the opiate and eyes widening, this is what their life has become. After two more pills they lay back and hold one another.
"I think it would be a good idea." Her hair is oily from lack of washing, she tucks it behind her ears. Pimples are sprouting like mountains across her unwashed face. When was the last time they washed? They can't remember, the bathroom is only used to defecate once every couple of days, and maybe to throw up in more often than anything else. The shower is seldom used. "I'm tired of this place, the people are horrible."
Sustaining his head like a helium balloon that has grown too heavy, he comes in and out of consciousnesses unable to talk. They both fall asleep on the couch.
-----
Sunlight. It's warmth is heating up their faces, it awakens him. She's still asleep. Getting up he feels his bones crack, falling asleep on the couch is no good for them, but he doesn't notice after a fix or two. Once in the kitchen he pours himself some water in a cup that's been sitting by the sink for who knows how many days, weeks even. After gulping it down he opens the fridge to find it empty. The last of the food stamp money had been spent on their current stash, selling them had become yet another habit meant to sustain their addiction. He serves more water and drinks it down.
Sitting on the couch he sets up another piece of tinfoil, the roll is still new and has quite a bit of the shinny paper on it. He shakes the lighter to make sure it's still got fuel, placing another pill on top he lights up. She awakens as he blows smoke on her face.
"What... oh... here..." she grabs for the paper and straw as he lights it for her. This is how every morning is spent.
"We need more money, we'll be out by tonight." His voice shakes a little, she knows what he meas.
"Alright, I'll call Hue. I'm sure he could use some release." She inhales, and holds it. Again, burnt marshmallows fill the air.
-----
She's dressed up, unshowered, but dressed up. Her skinny legs are nothing like they used to be. Once upon a time she ran every morning before going to work at the restaurant, her figure was envied, her beauty was obscene. Every man wanted her, and she knew it. Now she's just another corpse walking the street.
"Hue is coming soon, you'll have to go wait outside. Can you head over to John's and see if he can hook us up with some pot? Tell him he can come by for the money later." She's applying lipstick to her chapped lips, a bit of eye shadow, and some flush takes away the look of death. She almost looks normal, but there is something about addiction you can never hide.
"Alright." It's all he says. He gets up and walks to the door, grabs his jacket and just as he's about to close the door she says to him:
"I love you!"
"I love you too babe... call John's when you are done." He walks down the stairs and runs into Hue, he's a tall blonde man, wearing glasses as usual. He's married, but likes to get his kicks elsewhere just like everyone else. He's never asked her just what he does that he has to go somewhere else to find it besides home, he doesn't care. Hue doesn't know who he is.
-----
John's house is five minutes from the apartment, it is an old house filled with old newspapers and an array of stuff which could be easily thrown out, but John just can't seem to part with it. It reminds him of his parent's, he says. They saved all of this stuff, and now it just happened to be his watch over it, having them both gone this was the only thing they'd left behind. A house full of garbage. He knocks on the door.
"Come on in!" John screams from within. Opening the door with his think fingers, he hears the rustling of the dog as it's running towards the door. It's an old pit bull with barely any teeth left, a very lovable old dog.
"So what's up?" John is rolling a blunt, he always has pot.
"Not much, Lucy is working a job so I thought I'd come by."
"I see..." He knew what this meant, but didn't say anything. Lucy wasn't a stranger to him by any means, even shut in pot heads need to get their rocks off every once in a while.
"Hey, do you think you can front us some of that pot? Lucy will have the money for you tonight, you can just come back with me and she'll have it for you."
"Alright, not a problem." Lighting the blunt makes the room fill with smoke almost instantly, maybe it wouldn't happen so fast if there wasn't so much shit in there, air circulation might be better, but tell that to John, he'd only say that it's his house and he'll do as he pleases. He's right though, no one should be telling someone how to live their lives.
-----
The phone rings, it's Lucy.
"Yeah, I'm all done over here, you guys can come through if you want."
"Sure, we'll be right there."
-----
She's back in her regular clothes, her face is still flushed even though there is no make up on it. Her lipstick is a bit smeared, and her hair looks kind of clumpy. She's smoking a pill as the two of them walk into the living room, seems like Hue left her a tip, there is a bag with a nice stash of pills by her side of the table. This is good, he wont have to go out tonight to re up. John takes a seat on a metal chair across from them, tossing a baggie of pot on the table.
"Twenty five please."
"Here you go." She puts down her utensils and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a small wad of bills. He accepts the money and pulls out a pre rolled joint, lighting it he winks at her and she smiles.
"So what is up for tonight?" John takes a couple of puffs and passes the joint to Lucy.
"Oh I don't know, thinking we are going to stay in and maybe watch some Fifth Element." Her voice seems raspy, maybe it's all the smoking.
"I was thinking we could get some groceries, the fridge is kind of empty." He takes the joint from Lucy and inhales a large hit, coughing as if his lungs were trying to escape years of torture and abuse.
"Easy old man, you can't take those big hits with this stuff." John takes the joint from him and puffs at it. "I can give you guys a ride to the market if you need, I could use some supplies myself."
"Sounds good, now that we have a little bit of cash it sounds like a good idea." She lights the tinfoil, and sucks in more of the burnt marshmallow.
-----
It's been three days since Hue came around, and they needed more money. Lucy went to walk the streets for a little while, he stayed at home trying to figure out who he could rob and how to make a quick buck.
Lucy comes in a couple of hours later, her dress is a bit ripped, and there is something dripping from between her legs. She doesn't say anything as she passes by him on the couch, she throws a wad of bills on the table and heads straight to the bathroom. He hears the shower go on. He grabs one of the last pills and lights it up.
"Hey, Steve!" She screams from the shower. "Can you head down to T's and pick up some more blues?"
"Sure thing babe."
-----
The alley hasn't changed much, a couple of bums are fighting over the contents of a garbage can as he passes them, they don't even notice him. Shadows seem to elongate and compress, the wind is blowing and there is little to no fresh smell, it's a stink of decay that seems to linger in the inner city. Shivering from the cold he crosses to the other side of the alley where T is usually hanging out this time of night, but he's not there. Instead there is another dealer, he's seen him before. Tall and dark, with an over sized coat on, gold teeth, and a fuck you look to him.
"What you need boy?"
"Umm... where is T?"
"He ain't here... now you need somethin' or not?"
"Yeah, I need two hundred worth..."
"Aight..." He reaches in his jacket and pulls out 4 baggies, each with 5 pills in it.
"Cool cool..." He hands the money and takes the bags. "Catch you around."
"Yeah, whatever."
-----
Back in the apartment she's smoking the last pill from the last stash. There are a few bills left on the table, and the aluminum roll is growing thin. He walks in and plops next to her, setting the bags of pills on the table as he does so.
"We really need to get out of here..." He says, but just as he does she kisses him and exhales into his mouth. The hit makes him feel light headed, he forgets what he was talking about.
"You just need some more of this..." She rips some foil for him, opens a baggie, and sets up a fix for him. "Come on, smoke some and fuck me."
He get's high, he doesn't fuck her, his dick can't get up after he smokes the pills. They both pass out on the couch as the sun begins to rise on the horizon.
"What will it be?" He knows his costumers by the visage of death drawn upon their beings.
"I just need the usual... It's been a long night." A stack of singles and fives is passed from one to the other, and as soon as it is counted a bag containing tiny blue pills is exchanged.
"See you soon."
----
When he gets back to his apartment she is waiting on the dirty old couch, a thing full of smells and stains that remark the past 2 years as if they'd been decades. Her thin lips are dry and chalked, a crust under her nose and bags under the eyes makes it hard to remember what she looked like before it all started. He puts his coat on the back of the door, and crunching past plastic cups and caps that litter the hallway he scratches at his head. Thin arms and even thinner wrists still manage to gather the tools of their addiction. Straws, tin foil, and a couple of lighters of which he can't recall if they are dead or not.
"What took so long?" she asks as her head wobbles, trying to sit up. He makes room for himself on the edge of the couch as he clears some of the table by tossing a heap of garbage to the floor.
"I was just thinking, maybe we ought to get out of here soon. I mean, like... get out of here, this town, start new somewhere else." He opens the baggie and takes two pills out, rips two pieces of tinfoil, and passes one of each to her. She grabs a straw and lighter just as he does and places the pill on the metallic surface. With the straw in her mouth she begins to burn the underside of the tinfoil, a smoldering crackling is emitted from the pill as it heats up and starts to smoke, she suctions the white smoke as the smell of burnt marshmallow fills the room. He follows suit.
As the pill melts, it moves on the tinfoil, making a dark spiral as it travels on the surface of the heated metal. Their lungs absorbing the opiate and eyes widening, this is what their life has become. After two more pills they lay back and hold one another.
"I think it would be a good idea." Her hair is oily from lack of washing, she tucks it behind her ears. Pimples are sprouting like mountains across her unwashed face. When was the last time they washed? They can't remember, the bathroom is only used to defecate once every couple of days, and maybe to throw up in more often than anything else. The shower is seldom used. "I'm tired of this place, the people are horrible."
Sustaining his head like a helium balloon that has grown too heavy, he comes in and out of consciousnesses unable to talk. They both fall asleep on the couch.
-----
Sunlight. It's warmth is heating up their faces, it awakens him. She's still asleep. Getting up he feels his bones crack, falling asleep on the couch is no good for them, but he doesn't notice after a fix or two. Once in the kitchen he pours himself some water in a cup that's been sitting by the sink for who knows how many days, weeks even. After gulping it down he opens the fridge to find it empty. The last of the food stamp money had been spent on their current stash, selling them had become yet another habit meant to sustain their addiction. He serves more water and drinks it down.
Sitting on the couch he sets up another piece of tinfoil, the roll is still new and has quite a bit of the shinny paper on it. He shakes the lighter to make sure it's still got fuel, placing another pill on top he lights up. She awakens as he blows smoke on her face.
"What... oh... here..." she grabs for the paper and straw as he lights it for her. This is how every morning is spent.
"We need more money, we'll be out by tonight." His voice shakes a little, she knows what he meas.
"Alright, I'll call Hue. I'm sure he could use some release." She inhales, and holds it. Again, burnt marshmallows fill the air.
-----
She's dressed up, unshowered, but dressed up. Her skinny legs are nothing like they used to be. Once upon a time she ran every morning before going to work at the restaurant, her figure was envied, her beauty was obscene. Every man wanted her, and she knew it. Now she's just another corpse walking the street.
"Hue is coming soon, you'll have to go wait outside. Can you head over to John's and see if he can hook us up with some pot? Tell him he can come by for the money later." She's applying lipstick to her chapped lips, a bit of eye shadow, and some flush takes away the look of death. She almost looks normal, but there is something about addiction you can never hide.
"Alright." It's all he says. He gets up and walks to the door, grabs his jacket and just as he's about to close the door she says to him:
"I love you!"
"I love you too babe... call John's when you are done." He walks down the stairs and runs into Hue, he's a tall blonde man, wearing glasses as usual. He's married, but likes to get his kicks elsewhere just like everyone else. He's never asked her just what he does that he has to go somewhere else to find it besides home, he doesn't care. Hue doesn't know who he is.
-----
John's house is five minutes from the apartment, it is an old house filled with old newspapers and an array of stuff which could be easily thrown out, but John just can't seem to part with it. It reminds him of his parent's, he says. They saved all of this stuff, and now it just happened to be his watch over it, having them both gone this was the only thing they'd left behind. A house full of garbage. He knocks on the door.
"Come on in!" John screams from within. Opening the door with his think fingers, he hears the rustling of the dog as it's running towards the door. It's an old pit bull with barely any teeth left, a very lovable old dog.
"So what's up?" John is rolling a blunt, he always has pot.
"Not much, Lucy is working a job so I thought I'd come by."
"I see..." He knew what this meant, but didn't say anything. Lucy wasn't a stranger to him by any means, even shut in pot heads need to get their rocks off every once in a while.
"Hey, do you think you can front us some of that pot? Lucy will have the money for you tonight, you can just come back with me and she'll have it for you."
"Alright, not a problem." Lighting the blunt makes the room fill with smoke almost instantly, maybe it wouldn't happen so fast if there wasn't so much shit in there, air circulation might be better, but tell that to John, he'd only say that it's his house and he'll do as he pleases. He's right though, no one should be telling someone how to live their lives.
-----
The phone rings, it's Lucy.
"Yeah, I'm all done over here, you guys can come through if you want."
"Sure, we'll be right there."
-----
She's back in her regular clothes, her face is still flushed even though there is no make up on it. Her lipstick is a bit smeared, and her hair looks kind of clumpy. She's smoking a pill as the two of them walk into the living room, seems like Hue left her a tip, there is a bag with a nice stash of pills by her side of the table. This is good, he wont have to go out tonight to re up. John takes a seat on a metal chair across from them, tossing a baggie of pot on the table.
"Twenty five please."
"Here you go." She puts down her utensils and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a small wad of bills. He accepts the money and pulls out a pre rolled joint, lighting it he winks at her and she smiles.
"So what is up for tonight?" John takes a couple of puffs and passes the joint to Lucy.
"Oh I don't know, thinking we are going to stay in and maybe watch some Fifth Element." Her voice seems raspy, maybe it's all the smoking.
"I was thinking we could get some groceries, the fridge is kind of empty." He takes the joint from Lucy and inhales a large hit, coughing as if his lungs were trying to escape years of torture and abuse.
"Easy old man, you can't take those big hits with this stuff." John takes the joint from him and puffs at it. "I can give you guys a ride to the market if you need, I could use some supplies myself."
"Sounds good, now that we have a little bit of cash it sounds like a good idea." She lights the tinfoil, and sucks in more of the burnt marshmallow.
-----
It's been three days since Hue came around, and they needed more money. Lucy went to walk the streets for a little while, he stayed at home trying to figure out who he could rob and how to make a quick buck.
Lucy comes in a couple of hours later, her dress is a bit ripped, and there is something dripping from between her legs. She doesn't say anything as she passes by him on the couch, she throws a wad of bills on the table and heads straight to the bathroom. He hears the shower go on. He grabs one of the last pills and lights it up.
"Hey, Steve!" She screams from the shower. "Can you head down to T's and pick up some more blues?"
"Sure thing babe."
-----
The alley hasn't changed much, a couple of bums are fighting over the contents of a garbage can as he passes them, they don't even notice him. Shadows seem to elongate and compress, the wind is blowing and there is little to no fresh smell, it's a stink of decay that seems to linger in the inner city. Shivering from the cold he crosses to the other side of the alley where T is usually hanging out this time of night, but he's not there. Instead there is another dealer, he's seen him before. Tall and dark, with an over sized coat on, gold teeth, and a fuck you look to him.
"What you need boy?"
"Umm... where is T?"
"He ain't here... now you need somethin' or not?"
"Yeah, I need two hundred worth..."
"Aight..." He reaches in his jacket and pulls out 4 baggies, each with 5 pills in it.
"Cool cool..." He hands the money and takes the bags. "Catch you around."
"Yeah, whatever."
-----
Back in the apartment she's smoking the last pill from the last stash. There are a few bills left on the table, and the aluminum roll is growing thin. He walks in and plops next to her, setting the bags of pills on the table as he does so.
"We really need to get out of here..." He says, but just as he does she kisses him and exhales into his mouth. The hit makes him feel light headed, he forgets what he was talking about.
"You just need some more of this..." She rips some foil for him, opens a baggie, and sets up a fix for him. "Come on, smoke some and fuck me."
He get's high, he doesn't fuck her, his dick can't get up after he smokes the pills. They both pass out on the couch as the sun begins to rise on the horizon.
07 June 2012
Tree of Life, a Rebirth.
Like a fruit that's been tossed around
bruised battered and torn
so does the ball
sit in your court.
I do hope one thing,
once all of the flesh decays off
and it's rotten to the core
that the seeds happen to fall
through a crack
of the cement floor
on the court of adversity
which we have built between ourselves.
To dig in,
something to crack the hardened surface
destroy the deserted streets
to grow and blossom,
bloom
a fruit giving tree
with sweet and sour pulp
to feast on and kill hunger
for both you and me.
These are the things I think about
when you come to mind now
it's not so bad you know
the taste of your smile
the stink of your skin
it all comes back suddenly
every time I think of you
freckles
blue eyes
blonde hair
gentle lips
telling me to "hither forth"
with one subtle
yet inviting
hand motion.
A kiss.
bruised battered and torn
so does the ball
sit in your court.
I do hope one thing,
once all of the flesh decays off
and it's rotten to the core
that the seeds happen to fall
through a crack
of the cement floor
on the court of adversity
which we have built between ourselves.
To dig in,
something to crack the hardened surface
destroy the deserted streets
to grow and blossom,
bloom
a fruit giving tree
with sweet and sour pulp
to feast on and kill hunger
for both you and me.
These are the things I think about
when you come to mind now
it's not so bad you know
the taste of your smile
the stink of your skin
it all comes back suddenly
every time I think of you
freckles
blue eyes
blonde hair
gentle lips
telling me to "hither forth"
with one subtle
yet inviting
hand motion.
A kiss.
24 May 2012
Tasted delicious on my fingers
She awakens
asking why her underwear
is still on.
I tell her it was a rough night
and my leg isn't feeling
any better.
I should have just pulled them
down to her ankles
tossed them off the side
of the bed.
We were so trashed though
and sometimes I still
go back to my prime teachings
of times long gone
yet she likes it.
Earlier she'd said
how she still paid attention
to certain aspects of
Catholicism
after correcting me
on the proper
pronunciation of the word.
I then tell her that when I
date someone
I like to do the same.
She smiles
and says
"I'm glad you know what I meant."
I like the fact that we do it this way.
But how will I tell her
I'm not a fan of missionary?
asking why her underwear
is still on.
I tell her it was a rough night
and my leg isn't feeling
any better.
I should have just pulled them
down to her ankles
tossed them off the side
of the bed.
We were so trashed though
and sometimes I still
go back to my prime teachings
of times long gone
yet she likes it.
Earlier she'd said
how she still paid attention
to certain aspects of
Catholicism
after correcting me
on the proper
pronunciation of the word.
I then tell her that when I
date someone
I like to do the same.
She smiles
and says
"I'm glad you know what I meant."
I like the fact that we do it this way.
But how will I tell her
I'm not a fan of missionary?
21 November 2011
This is my multi-pass.
It's another weekend
she's already called
"my mom is taking me over
be there soon."
He waits in his bed,
under the covers.
It's been cold out lately
and he didn't sleep very well.
A few minutes pass by before she's there
he hears her say hello to his family
and walks over to his room.
The door opens,
she enters and closes it behind her.
A tight fitting shirt outlines her figure
thin yet curvy
her breasts perky with youth
baggy jeans
which soon come off before she makes her way to him
long slender legs
smooth to the touch and very kind to the eye
she's white like snow
and he likes that.
She comes into his bed
kisses him
caress him
"I missed you."
they kiss
and pop The 5th Element into the VCR.
Her bosom presses against him
her hand running up and down his chest
one leg over his pressing on his thigh
her lips slightly part as their saliva mixes.
His fingers feel the contours of her hips
the texture of her underwear
as his other hand touches her back
and pulls her closer to him.
She rips her top off
and he his
their bodies scream in ecstasy
as bare skin touches bare skin
and they press hard against each other
trying to break that point where the one ends
and the other begins
making way into one another
ending the separation of time and space.
Interchanging tactile sensations
eyes closed
eyes open
the smell of her hair
her skin
his sweat
their kink.
She jumps atop him and pushes him down
they stare into each others eyes and smile
just as her hips grind back and fro
she positions him just
so he presses between her lips.
They wear one last layer each
to keep themselves at bay.
He pulls her down by the neck
and kisses her hard
he then rolls her on her back
kissing her neck
kissing her chest
stomach and thighs.
Her smell drives him near insanity
he kisses her thighs and bit by bit
slowly makes his way to her last layer.
He bites onto the edges of her silky underwear
pulls it down with several jerking motions
like an animal tearing at bare flesh
preparing to enjoy a savory meal.
With his bare hands he pulls off her underwear
silk up over his head her legs now lay on his shoulders
just so she arches her back and pulls him in with her legs
a smirk over her face she pinches her nipples tight
his face now buried in her cunt
he can taste her
smell her
feel her
she is everything
his thirst is quenched by her love
her body starts to flush
just as he uses his hands on her hips
to keep her rhythm with his.
He smears her all over his face,
then kisses her belly
breasts
neck
just as he gets to eye level
she licks his lips
savoring herself
then kissing him.
She takes his underwear off
stroking him as she kisses his lips
then taking him into her mouth
soft tongue
soft hair touching his thighs
she lays on her side
with her legs open to him
his fingers caress
her soft petals melting in his fingers.
When she has him as hard as she wants him
she straddles him
uses one of her hands to take him into her
as the other keeps her balance.
He feels her warmth as he penetrates her
everything wavers as reality condenses into this.
Time stops,
space implodes.
She arches down to him and they kiss
bodies are now intermingled
they both push hard against one another
so much so they can hear their hair grinding.
There are explosions in the background
as Korben Dallas destroys alien scum.
Her hair hangs over his face
her eyes shut close
and her body falls limp on top of him.
He bites her neck as she whimpers
grabbing her ass with his hands
to gain leverage over her.
She scratches his chest
emitting a moan that makes him go deeper
harder
squeezing his hands over her flesh.
He then takes her head with one hand
and starts to kiss her lips
feeling his cock get really hard
his balls are now squeezing
both bodies are quivering in orgasm
his moans intensify hers
as he unloads himself deep inside her womb.
They both now lay in bed,
breathing heavily
watching as Lilu Dallas is asking Korben
"What is love?"
They both look at each other and he says
"This, this is love."
"Show me." Says Lilu.
"Show her.." Says the priest.
And so he kisses her.
Looking at each other
hearts beating hard
they kiss softly
between puffs from their cigarettes
smiles and caresses.
Her leg over his
as her soaking cunt drips down on them
she leans into his ear and in between nibbles whispers
"again."
she's already called
"my mom is taking me over
be there soon."
He waits in his bed,
under the covers.
It's been cold out lately
and he didn't sleep very well.
A few minutes pass by before she's there
he hears her say hello to his family
and walks over to his room.
The door opens,
she enters and closes it behind her.
A tight fitting shirt outlines her figure
thin yet curvy
her breasts perky with youth
baggy jeans
which soon come off before she makes her way to him
long slender legs
smooth to the touch and very kind to the eye
she's white like snow
and he likes that.
She comes into his bed
kisses him
caress him
"I missed you."
they kiss
and pop The 5th Element into the VCR.
Her bosom presses against him
her hand running up and down his chest
one leg over his pressing on his thigh
her lips slightly part as their saliva mixes.
His fingers feel the contours of her hips
the texture of her underwear
as his other hand touches her back
and pulls her closer to him.
She rips her top off
and he his
their bodies scream in ecstasy
as bare skin touches bare skin
and they press hard against each other
trying to break that point where the one ends
and the other begins
making way into one another
ending the separation of time and space.
Interchanging tactile sensations
eyes closed
eyes open
the smell of her hair
her skin
his sweat
their kink.
She jumps atop him and pushes him down
they stare into each others eyes and smile
just as her hips grind back and fro
she positions him just
so he presses between her lips.
They wear one last layer each
to keep themselves at bay.
He pulls her down by the neck
and kisses her hard
he then rolls her on her back
kissing her neck
kissing her chest
stomach and thighs.
Her smell drives him near insanity
he kisses her thighs and bit by bit
slowly makes his way to her last layer.
He bites onto the edges of her silky underwear
pulls it down with several jerking motions
like an animal tearing at bare flesh
preparing to enjoy a savory meal.
With his bare hands he pulls off her underwear
silk up over his head her legs now lay on his shoulders
just so she arches her back and pulls him in with her legs
a smirk over her face she pinches her nipples tight
his face now buried in her cunt
he can taste her
smell her
feel her
she is everything
his thirst is quenched by her love
her body starts to flush
just as he uses his hands on her hips
to keep her rhythm with his.
He smears her all over his face,
then kisses her belly
breasts
neck
just as he gets to eye level
she licks his lips
savoring herself
then kissing him.
She takes his underwear off
stroking him as she kisses his lips
then taking him into her mouth
soft tongue
soft hair touching his thighs
she lays on her side
with her legs open to him
his fingers caress
her soft petals melting in his fingers.
When she has him as hard as she wants him
she straddles him
uses one of her hands to take him into her
as the other keeps her balance.
He feels her warmth as he penetrates her
everything wavers as reality condenses into this.
Time stops,
space implodes.
She arches down to him and they kiss
bodies are now intermingled
they both push hard against one another
so much so they can hear their hair grinding.
There are explosions in the background
as Korben Dallas destroys alien scum.
Her hair hangs over his face
her eyes shut close
and her body falls limp on top of him.
He bites her neck as she whimpers
grabbing her ass with his hands
to gain leverage over her.
She scratches his chest
emitting a moan that makes him go deeper
harder
squeezing his hands over her flesh.
He then takes her head with one hand
and starts to kiss her lips
feeling his cock get really hard
his balls are now squeezing
both bodies are quivering in orgasm
his moans intensify hers
as he unloads himself deep inside her womb.
They both now lay in bed,
breathing heavily
watching as Lilu Dallas is asking Korben
"What is love?"
They both look at each other and he says
"This, this is love."
"Show me." Says Lilu.
"Show her.." Says the priest.
And so he kisses her.
Looking at each other
hearts beating hard
they kiss softly
between puffs from their cigarettes
smiles and caresses.
Her leg over his
as her soaking cunt drips down on them
she leans into his ear and in between nibbles whispers
"again."
17 July 2011
It must feel nice to know
It's not every night that I dream
much less the times that they are remembered.
So when they are about you I have to ask
if it's you that makes them happen
or if there is some part of me
deep down inside hidden from my own eye
that still misses you.
What do I miss?
A gentle touch as we pass a cigarette
back and forth our fingers slightly graze
the touch of skin to skin.
The stink of your dirty clothes
or hair unwashed for days
a gentle smile
half crooked teeth
to me you were perfect in every way.
I miss the elongated nights
made short by our alcohol consumption
I never drank like I did with you
and somehow I miss that.
Why do you come to mind as often as you do
when we both know you've given up
even though you took my heart with you.
It's not easy to forget the good things
my mistake is that the bad I often do.
That is what love does I guess
blinds one to be a fool.
much less the times that they are remembered.
So when they are about you I have to ask
if it's you that makes them happen
or if there is some part of me
deep down inside hidden from my own eye
that still misses you.
What do I miss?
A gentle touch as we pass a cigarette
back and forth our fingers slightly graze
the touch of skin to skin.
The stink of your dirty clothes
or hair unwashed for days
a gentle smile
half crooked teeth
to me you were perfect in every way.
I miss the elongated nights
made short by our alcohol consumption
I never drank like I did with you
and somehow I miss that.
Why do you come to mind as often as you do
when we both know you've given up
even though you took my heart with you.
It's not easy to forget the good things
my mistake is that the bad I often do.
That is what love does I guess
blinds one to be a fool.
08 December 2010
Mitigation in my mind
Days like today, nothing matters.
I feel dead, tired, over worked.
Yet, nothing has happened.
Nothing, again.
If one expects change, one should create it. Right?
Every time I deal with the world,
The world bites back.
Every time I deal with people,
I see the ugly faces pop up again and again.
Addiction,
Sexual,
Or chemical,
It's all the same really.
A need for people to forget.
I keep running into these two demons,
Over and over again.
All I want is some peace of mind,
Knowing that you wont walk away
To get high on dope
Or be with someone else.
Just be there
As I would for you.
But no
It's never like that.
There are always preconceptions
Of notions meant to alleviate your "pain."
Don't you know though,
That through your actions
You end up hurting everyone around you?
Here I am,
Another day with nothing to do.
I'm a little glad,
Somewhat sad,
But still I'm here
And there is nothing pulling me down
Except me.
I feel dead, tired, over worked.
Yet, nothing has happened.
Nothing, again.
If one expects change, one should create it. Right?
Every time I deal with the world,
The world bites back.
Every time I deal with people,
I see the ugly faces pop up again and again.
Addiction,
Sexual,
Or chemical,
It's all the same really.
A need for people to forget.
I keep running into these two demons,
Over and over again.
All I want is some peace of mind,
Knowing that you wont walk away
To get high on dope
Or be with someone else.
Just be there
As I would for you.
But no
It's never like that.
There are always preconceptions
Of notions meant to alleviate your "pain."
Don't you know though,
That through your actions
You end up hurting everyone around you?
Here I am,
Another day with nothing to do.
I'm a little glad,
Somewhat sad,
But still I'm here
And there is nothing pulling me down
Except me.
06 December 2010
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Respect
Where has it gone? Who has it anymore? I for one do not understand where I went wrong, or if I event went wrong at all.
Get a call from a girl, whom I fancy, and she wants to hang out! I'm like "swell, of course I'll hang out!" So she meets me at her friends house, where I meet some pretty ok people. From there, we chat, we all go through our motions and our arbitrary conversations where we get to know one another. Things seem very well.
Suddenly, a group of people show up delivering the blues... not the music, but the substance that South Florida seems to be so infatuated with. She changes. She starts talking to their driver, and begins to ask me if I can score some pot for her. Sure, I say. I try, but come up dry. "Oh, I have some at home, we can just go pick it up real quick..." He says.
About an hour passes. A twenty minute thing has turned into much longer. I don't know what to think, I'm tired of just chatting it up with people whom I don't know. I'm done. I pick up my shit, and leave.
She wanted to spend the night, so she says. She wanted to hang out and talk, so she says. Then why leave me with a group of total strangers as you go off ridding with some schmuck. I don't get it. No respect, as a great comedian once put it. No fucking respect.
Don't tell me you want to hang out, then leave me to go "chill" with someone else. Don't tell me you wanted to be with me, when you leave me for some guy who just turned up. What am I, chopped liver? I just don't get it.
There is no respect left, there is no real understanding of people left. It's only garbage, or so it seems. Bob Dylan once said something along the lines of send me someone who is not a fucked up person, and I will give my life to you. How right he is, to this day.
What happened to respect.
Where has it gone? Who has it anymore? I for one do not understand where I went wrong, or if I event went wrong at all.
Get a call from a girl, whom I fancy, and she wants to hang out! I'm like "swell, of course I'll hang out!" So she meets me at her friends house, where I meet some pretty ok people. From there, we chat, we all go through our motions and our arbitrary conversations where we get to know one another. Things seem very well.
Suddenly, a group of people show up delivering the blues... not the music, but the substance that South Florida seems to be so infatuated with. She changes. She starts talking to their driver, and begins to ask me if I can score some pot for her. Sure, I say. I try, but come up dry. "Oh, I have some at home, we can just go pick it up real quick..." He says.
About an hour passes. A twenty minute thing has turned into much longer. I don't know what to think, I'm tired of just chatting it up with people whom I don't know. I'm done. I pick up my shit, and leave.
She wanted to spend the night, so she says. She wanted to hang out and talk, so she says. Then why leave me with a group of total strangers as you go off ridding with some schmuck. I don't get it. No respect, as a great comedian once put it. No fucking respect.
Don't tell me you want to hang out, then leave me to go "chill" with someone else. Don't tell me you wanted to be with me, when you leave me for some guy who just turned up. What am I, chopped liver? I just don't get it.
There is no respect left, there is no real understanding of people left. It's only garbage, or so it seems. Bob Dylan once said something along the lines of send me someone who is not a fucked up person, and I will give my life to you. How right he is, to this day.
What happened to respect.
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