Thoughts while she's getting naked

She looks cute
I like the way her hair smells
Her skin is so soft
Her thighs are as well
Her form envelops my mind
In the lustful things
That I am about to do
Between her thighs

As we climb the stairs

Past the gated door

Into her realm

of sexual ecstasy

Soft skin gives way to fingers
Coursing through closer
Just as she takes off her top
One thought comes to mind
With her sagging belly skin
Her reluctance to remove her bra
This whore is someones mother

Idiot

I really don't understand why I allow myself to feel anything at all
each and every emotion drags me through the murky depths of my mind
with turns leading to parts of my id unknown, places that I should have left alone
though it seems like I always drag parts along the paths taken
or scooping up pieces of reality to keep safely with me.

Junkies

People dance on the streets,
streets covered in shit and piss,
but they still dance all the same.
As the little bit they share

of fun and debauchery
course through their vain,
meanwhile just on the other side
people starve and beg for food.

The happiest people on earth
all have a reason to look away,
otherwise the front they've built would fall,
they wouldn't be as happy.

To truly see the pitiful eyes of the addict
begging for more change,
will make anyones heart quiver with pity.
So instead of looking

deep into their darkened ocular orbs, sharing that pain,
making that human connection for just one second,
it is easier to reach into pockets
paying off the junkies to walk away.

Junkies know and use this to their advantage, beggars
making sure to look into their darkened
empty souls, asking them to make a donation
to the nation of addiction and injections.

People dance, dance the pain away.
Needles drop on the ground, junkies
shooting away the day, trying to be
the happiest people on earth.

©Who_Leo All Rights Reserved

©Who_Leo All Rights Reserved

All Images Are © By Who_Leo May Not Be Used Or Shared.

Good Ridance

I guess it's futile. You say I don't know my feelings, well I know my emotions well enough to be able to shut them off if needed be. Sadly, they are a sort of fuel, for living. I asked jim how you were. Because I have known him for many many years, and he's been like a father to me in many instances. You don't talk to me, you're cryptic, you push everyone away, and all I wanted was to know how you actually were. You claim that I am a pagan, but I don't worship anything, or anyone, or any names. I don't know where you get this shit from. I guess you must be high on some shit, which happens. I'm tired of talking to you and always getting illegible messages because you're too fucked up to type. This worries me. I don't want to worry about you, you're a grown woman who is killing herself. Not my fucking problem, and I'm sorry I made it so. Because I don't need your baggage. So I thank you for flipping out, because I didn't know how to push you away. I am sorry because of the human being that resides in you, but I can't let your shit get to me. As much as I want to help you, I cannot and shouldn't, for until you want to help yourself, there is no point. I don't know what else to say, but I hope you get well.

Four Years

Four years ago I met you,

those golden locks

like a fleece to be worn

by those who earn your love,

yet I never made a grab at

such wonder when

you had exposed that soft,

pink underbelly, the morning after,

as we smoked hand rolled fags

on the porch of your luxurious beach

home, I could have had it all.

Regret is bitter, that is why

you will always be my sour girl.

Happy Green Trees

Sun shines through leafy green trees, all lined up on street medians cutting the black asphalts poignant composition upon what once was their home. Lined up, one by one, they wait in silence. There is little that they say to one another, besides the usual whispers carried by the wind. Last year it was the passing of a beautiful oak tree near the intersection of ninth and 32nd ave. There was a bit of an explosion as the internal combustion engine of the Maserati slammed against the ancients bark. Flames over took this majestic being and burnt every bit of green, the fire burned for over an hour before the fire department put it completely out. By this time though, the beautiful green was gone from this one tree in particular, and its bark damaged. This is when the city decided that the trees were much to dangerous... or rather, the money of the Maserati's owners thought so. Their child, who'd been driving intoxicated wasn't to blame, not at all! Rather, it seemed more fitting for the trees to be blamed, after all they didn't have twelve lawyers and the backing of a family fortune that spans over generations. No, the tree was definitely to blame. As soon as Mrs. X showed up in the office of the mayor on that morning, the trees knew what was to come. Soon they had all kinds of little people climbing on top, tying themselves to their giant branches. This was all so surprising to them! They were unable to move, and had mostly decided that if they were to die then what best place than that very spot where they were born, next to their brethren and fellow trees. Some of the humans though, some whom they'd known as children crossing the street, brushing their hands against the strong bark, made it clear they appreciated their shade and free oxygen by spending entire days and nights at their trunk to make sure no one hurt them. Eventually the rich family gave in, and decided that it probably wasn't such a good idea to cut down such majestic beings, who had often covered their subtle and fragile skin from the sun as they drove in their convertibles down ninth. They bought out the street, built a bridge by-pass, and allowed the trees to grow and have even more friends and green around them. It was beautiful.

This story is fiction, all of it. Even the way in which humans behave, that is also fiction. It's all fiction, the whole thing. This makes me sad.

Sky Line

I'm a literary hobo,
jumping trains of thought.
Never staying too long
in one place, unless
something makes me do so.

Wishing on Dandelions

Dandelions are made for wishing
one thought followed by
a soft whispered kiss
from tender lips
into the wilderness of the world
and within that beautiful chaos
a white ball of seeds explodes
into a thousand pieces
each carried by the wind
hoping to find that heart
to set root in
and grow.

for now the warmth of the ethreal kiss
tender and joyous
keeps the hearth warm
during the nights they still haven't found
one another
at least  now they know
they are not alone.

The Needle

Every time the needle tears through her flesh

to find that jumbled mess she likes to call a vein

it is her soul which slowly seeps out in amber drops

down her arm, pressure tied off by a tourniquet.

In order to forget the pain left behind by heavy hands

to extinguish flames burning so bright

that only the milky waters of the river Alf

may extinguish her core in an explosion

of eternal ecstasy
an orgasm
meant to last an eternity

but only felt for a few minutes

because nothing is eternal,

only pain is.

He wanted to hold her but he knew she was not aware

of her nature and way of being.

That her own life was inundated with the facts

that she was not like the rest of them

and quite aware she still pushed away

those who understood and were willing to help

to understand how life can be and is, 'cos

when the world is a jigsaw you need to put it together.

He knew what she was and it scared her

he saw through her skin

onto the punctured veins

and it scarred her.

It never ceased to amaze him
her beauty eternal

the way eyes glowed in the light of the moon

tender fingers ran over scar tissue

soft kisses invaded her body

as he gave of himself to her.

Because it is no the way we think it is

not as if life has everything set up.

it is chaos in a civilized society

set up to illuminate the cauldrons of reality

with the hearth of hearts
beating strongly against one another

as she soaks her panties under her clothes

he grows inside his boxer shorts

both kissing on a couch

late at night

as her hair falls over his face

and she pulls upon his dreads.

 She drags him to the bedroom

and takes her pants off

as he grabs her from behind and with one hand

buried in her crotch

feels the rivers of love flowing fast

his cock jumps
she grabs it behind her

squeezing as it pulses, she turns around

penetrates his mouth with her tongue.

She sit's back onto the bed

legs spread, one hand saying

"Hither forth."

He kneels in front of her and kisses freckles

upon her face

neck

breasts

stomach

thighs

ankles

feet

legs

thighs

pelvis

he then swims into her

lashing his tongue

she thrusts herself onto him.

The needle comes out

it penetrates her vein

and the water of life pours into her

an orgasmic overflow

she caresses the shaft of her syringe

feels the pain and the memory go away.

Time is a river

A couple together

walking down the breezeway

holding hands

she leans on his shoulder

he holds her by the waist.

Two old people sitting in a booth

ordering the special

they both have shared in the good

in the bad

and all the in between's.

An innocent child waits by the staircase

while mother locks the door

their one bedroom is a safe place

they both hold on to the railing

as they descend wind blows

the hair from their face.

He sits on a stool

in a bar

with a drink that never runs out

his worries, all watered down,

cease to exist for just a little while.

She hangs out at a party

suitors all tend to her needs

the well never runs dry

when so many are willing

giving it all they have,

but it's all just a game.

In dreams they meet again and again

aging stops

preconceptions stop

it's the purest feeling

as water dragons dance for them

love flows yet again.

Sweet Lovely...

It's all so abnormal
the way we go through life
in our air conditioned vehicles
with our cellophane sex
barely talking to each other
like we were a million miles
apart, yet our skin touches
and our stink commingles.

I tried to love once or twice
it fell on my lap
much the way it usually does
and every time it managed to
be squandered by the corrosion
of time and space
triangles often do that.

Antiseptic dreams
clean and coordinated
like the dance of a dying race
we beat the drums of war
love and sadness
to the rhythmic procession
of hearts left behind to spoil.

Can you imagine
for just one second
what life would be like
if we all just said fuck it
and started to talk
and walk
and listen to one another
towards one another
and made the strides
to make a difference in our own
and each others lives?

I can't
I've been locked in too long
kept inside my wrapper
I know not freedom
I feel little but the air
as it rustles against my plastic prison
the medicine numbs everything else
and my mind plagues me with one thought
over and over and over and over again

When will I feel that soft caress?

Whenever wherever

and wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
dressed in the clothes you weren't wearing yesterday


kinked hair spread over the pillows
like her legs on that spring
my widow
I didn't leave anything behind
but a name
and some DNA


musing over her breath
heavy on my chest
like the thoughts of yesterday


with a spine crooked
like the number five
we crawl down the street
looking for another drink


lost down the river
we drown misery
and remind ourselves
that tomorrow is another day
another wrinkle
and it's alright

Tree of Life, a Rebirth.

Like a fruit that's been tossed around
bruised battered and torn
so does the ball
sit in your court.

I do hope one thing,
once all of the flesh decays off
and it's rotten to the core
that the seeds happen to fall
through a crack
of the cement floor
on the court of adversity
which we have built between ourselves.

To dig in,
something to crack the hardened surface
destroy the deserted streets
to grow and blossom,
bloom
a fruit giving tree
with sweet and sour pulp
to feast on and kill hunger
for both you and me.

These are the things I think about
when you come to mind now
it's not so bad you know
the taste of your smile
the stink of your skin
it all comes back suddenly
every time I think of you
freckles
blue eyes
blonde hair
gentle lips
telling me to "hither forth"
with one subtle
yet inviting
hand motion.

A kiss.

Beach Thoughts

today, much like yesterday
the day before and even past tomorrow
I find myself enthralled by what could have
should have and will never be.

a sour kiss
a gentle caress
the touch of soft skin to mine
conversations of wonder
seldom found anywhere else.

the genius behind blue eyes
kindness behind the honey colored ones
lessons taught and learned
all meant to inspire.

lately I think of you sour
even in the arms of a new lover
about how you kissed me in the car
and simply said
"now you know how I feel about you,"
so forward and in charge
like the night you jumped my bones
and showed me how a woman really
loves.

when I think of my honey lover
its often of her skin
the accents from
her freckles which I've read like braille
soft kisses on my cheek as she whispers
"You are beautiful"
into my ear
and I shiver because I know
this is her goodbye.

so I wander through my mind
emotions and heartbreak
to find myself alone
whispering sweet nothings
to myself before I sleep
all in hopes to keep
the death of my spirit
heart and hope
from coming too soon
before I find her again.

Contradictions

I am done falling in love
or at least wanting to
it is painful
it is full of lies
it is not for me
anymore.

Construction Ahead

Continue on

and don't give two damns

life often fringes on death

after all it wouldn't be life.

Fighting for survival

on a rainbow road

made of multicolored dreams

smashed to bits and pieces

all you can say is

wow.

It's not so easy when the past

catches up to you

and the lovers that keep hiding

inside of your head come up

for air.

Light glares off the gravel

coloring the walls of the houses

as you pass by each one

and it makes you wonder

about the could and should have been's.

Like a pilot light that's blown out

that let's the whole place fill up

with gaseous emissions

just waiting for that one spark

to blow everything up.

So is my mind

heart

soul

waiting for that one

who will make everything light up

blowing up the walls

and the pre built concepts

of reality.

This rainbow road can take you

anywhere you want to be.

Built from smashed dreams

it makes you wonder just how far

you can really walk before you decide

that it's time to settle down

and take a sip of wine

to numb out the pain

the sway

forget about the sores on your feet.

Still I wander through the streets

headlights lighting the way

to an unknown

yet yearned for tomorrow.

It's all about the story

the trip taken

the slow moments that make it worth while

like a woman's scent as she holds you tight

or her whispering words of beauty

promises often broken

it's all momentary and fleeting.

All meant to ignite some sort of reaction

erection

confessions of the heart.

I've hold her tight several times

my muse

but more often than never

I must let her go

to be free

for I am not a cage

although I am a caged

animal

on a rainbow road

made of smashed dreams.

Kinder

She wraps up tight
around me
and all I know
is that her skin
soft and sweet
is touching
all of me
from head to toe
wrapped up
in her
and it feels good
when her hand
rubs my chest
and her hair
tickles my arm
her bare legs
wrapped against mine
it feels whole
like the puzzle
is coming together
and with her swaying hips
rubbing herself against me
we fall asleep in the embrace.

Breathe, while you still can.

You see, the thing is that as human beings we are inherently needy. Be it for attention, a hug, someone to talk to, the friend to listen, to speak, to wait for. A lover, an enemy, a gruesome and dramatic stop or start. We all need some of these things in life. I have been lucky to find some if not all. Lately I had thought myself so lost, so unaccompanied, but it took a couple of friends, and some strange situations, to make me realize that I am not as alone as I once thought. These people, a bartender, a mother, and someone who befriended me just because. These three have made me feel something again besides despair and loneliness.

It's taken so long though, and even if I do feel enlightened at this moment in time, I'm afraid it's something I may loose again, because it's those people in life that let you know you are here, that there is a connection from within to the real world. That emotion.

Certainly one of the people I've grown fonder of is a friend. someone who I started hanging out with because I honestly felt alone, and she was willing to talk to me. This friend made a whole lot of difference, kept in touch, and even allowed me to inundate her txt in-box with rants and raves about emotional stuff that no one should have to deal with, especially when unwarranted. She's made me feel again though. After so long of not wanting to, and blocking every little bit of emotion out, I started feeling something again. I started to feel like someone enjoyed my company, enjoyed to listen to me, didn't brake me down, bring me down, tear at me with words. She listens, and I listen. She is a really good friend. I'm sorry if I've ever made her feel uncomfortable, but someone like this doesn't come around very often, and I'm pretty good at going over board most of the time.

It's certainly a change from sour girl. She was nice and made me happy, but within a month or two she became mean and tore at my ego, tearing me down and making me feel bad. That wasn't cool, and it's still causing issues... because I put so much trust in her, and I wanted to believe EVERYTHING she said. With Dibbs, it's not so. I have trust, but I've figured out to keep my distance. When I start getting too attached I withdraw myself. Because I don't know where she stands besides our friendship, and I don't want to ruin that because it's important to me. Even if something was to come out of this, this friendship, this great personal relationship we have and are building would be that base on which it is built.

Again though, I'm just jumping the gun there. Although it's so true. If I ever want something real with someone, that's how it's going to have to be. I'm not a party person anymore, I don't want to spend endless nights getting effed up and regretting it the next 3 days. I want to start settling down, start a family, and get to living. After all, who knows just how long I do have left. It's taken me a long time to figure out what I want exactly out of life, and even though I'm sure that I'm not going to get it to the T as to what I want, I hope that I'm able to at least kind of find something along those lines.

Anyhow, I'm just glad to have had this reawakening. The pessimist within me said that it will surely pass, but I can only hope that I can make the headway to keep myself afloat long enough so that when the waves of depression come back again, I can keep my head above water.

Marilyn Manson - Dope Hat

I don't know how he does it... But this cat in the hat is always making too much sense to me.

Fleeting?

If love is fleeting
then why does it stick
like shag carpet
to a strip of Velcro
every time
it comes around?

Like the time
that I fell for my
tequila queen
She still hounds dreams
and imagination.

Now I've felt the wind of
falling face first
onto the floor of emotion
but I keep catching
myself just as I'm about
to bust my face on the
linoleum.

Because I don't want a ghost
of a woman
to haunt me anymore.
Because there is no feeling
like no feeling at all.
It is peace.