As When Turns Into If

As when turns into if
the morning dew
sprinkled so lightly
rusts away at the promise
often made but always forgotten
to keep my head up
and let the tears roll off
without worrying about them.


It's hard to ignore
when they land on wounds
so fresh and open
that it stings
salty and abundant
like the ocean
they drown me.

It's because I let myself
fall into rough seas
holding on to nothing
expecting the waters to keep me
to drown me out and forget
that we ever existed.

Because I am forgotten
because my "friends" walk away
because no one wants to help
when you are lost in your pain
and the only thing to do
is wince at the cold shoulders.

More painful than a broken back
and busted dreams.

As when turns into if
I feel her slipping away
and it's ok
because nothing is meant to last
only pain is eternal
only love is eternal
only alone is eternal.

You forget about the good times
because it's a hindrance.
You forget about the bad times
because they remind you
that you are alive.
Forget,
because it's the human thing to do.