On stealing a kiss

In my desire for you I find myself.
When your soft touch I covet,
it is my heart you'd soothe.
Knowing I'm not able
to keep your attention
rips me to the core.

If only I could hold you
and this shell wasn't broken,
and the future was taken care of,
maybe happiness we could find.
But this is my story
and seldom is there a happy ending.

So I bow to death,
so I bow to poverty,
and I welcome the bony touch
of the sick and the impure
for we are family
and you are gone.

You walk away because it's easier
you keep away because of us.
Sometimes I wish I'd never kissed you
maybe you'd still be around
but then I wouldn't know
the soft touch of rose petals to my lips.

On a dark Pantheon

Contemplating dreams
she crawls through my head
like the yellow fog of wars past
slowly killing off life
yet the moment her dead blue eyes
meet with mine
my heart still flutters
and I embrace her poisonous kiss
because when you love
it's forever.

When you can't think about what to say, music will speak for you.

Lily Allen - Fuck You!
For you, because you know who you are.

I awaken from a dream of you into a nightmare of sorts.

Since I last wrote two people have passed away due to drug overdose. This synthetic heroin is killing people. 3 weeks ago it was a woman in her mid to late twenties, I didn't really know her but I had met her on a few occasions, a passing face one can say. I did know her reputation though, and as sad as it was it's hard not to say that we all saw that one coming. Latest addition to the count was three days ago. Brother of a childhood friend, cousin of an old old friend. Passed away much too young, 21 years too young.

That was my news this morning, as I woke up from a dream with you again, sour girl. This time it was a bit different. We lay under a tree next to a lake, not together but with one another. Streams of air passing through the branches and leafs, I could see them as they made their way over the water up to us. Red was all over, and the roots of the tree which stretched out under us like protruding veins which softly dug into us. You spoke to me, told me that I deserved so much better and that life would give to me that which I worked for. Your voice resonated against me, a feeling which now in my waking life I miss. Hell, I miss everything about the dream, your eyes, your smile, the warmth of you. As quickly as the dream began, it ended. You disappeared off the face of the earth, much like you did in real life. Then I woke up, and received a call about a friend, who 21 years too young passed away from heroin overdose.

I hate it when things like this happen, when my mind brings you out and then I'm reminded as to why I made the effort to push you away. Well, I want one thing from life, and that is my peace with you, a sober from heroin you.