Comment ça va?

Sometimes life feels like the movie Groundhog Day. Every day it's the same, every interaction is a mirror of days prior. It wont change until something big happens, until automatons stop showing up for work, cops stop sending people to jail, and politicos stop taking bribes. Until then, nothing is going to change, it will always be Groundhog Day, waiting for a furry over grown rat to tell us if it sees it's shadow or not, with a blizzard just outside of our door keeping us at bay. For now, I think I'll just work on myself, so when the day does move on, I'll do something so different that you wont have a choice but to say hello.

Sweet Lovely...

It's all so abnormal
the way we go through life
in our air conditioned vehicles
with our cellophane sex
barely talking to each other
like we were a million miles
apart, yet our skin touches
and our stink commingles.

I tried to love once or twice
it fell on my lap
much the way it usually does
and every time it managed to
be squandered by the corrosion
of time and space
triangles often do that.

Antiseptic dreams
clean and coordinated
like the dance of a dying race
we beat the drums of war
love and sadness
to the rhythmic procession
of hearts left behind to spoil.

Can you imagine
for just one second
what life would be like
if we all just said fuck it
and started to talk
and walk
and listen to one another
towards one another
and made the strides
to make a difference in our own
and each others lives?

I can't
I've been locked in too long
kept inside my wrapper
I know not freedom
I feel little but the air
as it rustles against my plastic prison
the medicine numbs everything else
and my mind plagues me with one thought
over and over and over and over again

When will I feel that soft caress?

Are you out there?

LF female 25-32 yrs old, without a criminal record, enjoys music, cheese, and dancing. Must be ok with video games, and possibly play W.O.W.

lolz if only it was that easy.

Whenever wherever

and wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
dressed in the clothes you weren't wearing yesterday


kinked hair spread over the pillows
like her legs on that spring
my widow
I didn't leave anything behind
but a name
and some DNA


musing over her breath
heavy on my chest
like the thoughts of yesterday


with a spine crooked
like the number five
we crawl down the street
looking for another drink


lost down the river
we drown misery
and remind ourselves
that tomorrow is another day
another wrinkle
and it's alright

Cavities

There is nothing to worry about
the wind blows all the dust around
just as it begins to settle.
It's not about to keep still
it never does
it gets in your eyes
your hair
lungs
and you could even feel it
as it grinds against your teeth.
This dust
thinly spread through out
is the only thing left
of the past.
We once danced on clouds
made of sugar
caressed lips
numbed with lust
but in the end
it all turned to this.
A finely refined dust
that grinds against my teeth
to remind me
you were once here.

Contemplation

sometimes I wonder if I've done the right thing
by pushing away certain people
in the long run I will miss them
and hope to maybe see them again
but honestly it's not worth the drama
and the pain
of having them around
when all they really did was use you as a carpet
and played with your emotions
as if they were a yo-yo.

Dear Sour Girl

The thing about sour girl is that she was deadly honest with me, and that is something I will never forget about her. Thank you, I still love that about you, and realize just how hard it is to come by.

Tree of Life, a Rebirth.

Like a fruit that's been tossed around
bruised battered and torn
so does the ball
sit in your court.

I do hope one thing,
once all of the flesh decays off
and it's rotten to the core
that the seeds happen to fall
through a crack
of the cement floor
on the court of adversity
which we have built between ourselves.

To dig in,
something to crack the hardened surface
destroy the deserted streets
to grow and blossom,
bloom
a fruit giving tree
with sweet and sour pulp
to feast on and kill hunger
for both you and me.

These are the things I think about
when you come to mind now
it's not so bad you know
the taste of your smile
the stink of your skin
it all comes back suddenly
every time I think of you
freckles
blue eyes
blonde hair
gentle lips
telling me to "hither forth"
with one subtle
yet inviting
hand motion.

A kiss.

Burned

I come over to you for comfort
for love
for an understanding inherently built in
for something other than the mundane
an existence made of clay
to see what shape I can make myself
it's odd
the way we've trans-versed so far
through the spaces in between
but often enough
it's never a thought
that binds the lips to good-bye
but rather an inexpensive frailty
meant to incinerate yet consecrate
the way that I feel for you
and if so
let it be
for I never knew the true taste
of a kiss
but a caress
infested with love bites

Beach Thoughts

today, much like yesterday
the day before and even past tomorrow
I find myself enthralled by what could have
should have and will never be.

a sour kiss
a gentle caress
the touch of soft skin to mine
conversations of wonder
seldom found anywhere else.

the genius behind blue eyes
kindness behind the honey colored ones
lessons taught and learned
all meant to inspire.

lately I think of you sour
even in the arms of a new lover
about how you kissed me in the car
and simply said
"now you know how I feel about you,"
so forward and in charge
like the night you jumped my bones
and showed me how a woman really
loves.

when I think of my honey lover
its often of her skin
the accents from
her freckles which I've read like braille
soft kisses on my cheek as she whispers
"You are beautiful"
into my ear
and I shiver because I know
this is her goodbye.

so I wander through my mind
emotions and heartbreak
to find myself alone
whispering sweet nothings
to myself before I sleep
all in hopes to keep
the death of my spirit
heart and hope
from coming too soon
before I find her again.

Contradictions

I am done falling in love
or at least wanting to
it is painful
it is full of lies
it is not for me
anymore.

Your White Lies Bite

I see the truth hidden in your eyes
the white lies hurt you know
no matter how you dress them up
or what you try to tell yourself
you hurt those you lie to.

Construction Ahead

Continue on

and don't give two damns

life often fringes on death

after all it wouldn't be life.

Fighting for survival

on a rainbow road

made of multicolored dreams

smashed to bits and pieces

all you can say is

wow.

It's not so easy when the past

catches up to you

and the lovers that keep hiding

inside of your head come up

for air.

Light glares off the gravel

coloring the walls of the houses

as you pass by each one

and it makes you wonder

about the could and should have been's.

Like a pilot light that's blown out

that let's the whole place fill up

with gaseous emissions

just waiting for that one spark

to blow everything up.

So is my mind

heart

soul

waiting for that one

who will make everything light up

blowing up the walls

and the pre built concepts

of reality.

This rainbow road can take you

anywhere you want to be.

Built from smashed dreams

it makes you wonder just how far

you can really walk before you decide

that it's time to settle down

and take a sip of wine

to numb out the pain

the sway

forget about the sores on your feet.

Still I wander through the streets

headlights lighting the way

to an unknown

yet yearned for tomorrow.

It's all about the story

the trip taken

the slow moments that make it worth while

like a woman's scent as she holds you tight

or her whispering words of beauty

promises often broken

it's all momentary and fleeting.

All meant to ignite some sort of reaction

erection

confessions of the heart.

I've hold her tight several times

my muse

but more often than never

I must let her go

to be free

for I am not a cage

although I am a caged

animal

on a rainbow road

made of smashed dreams.