Three Steps

Every time she takes two steps forward
he takes three steps back
it's not like he doesn't want her near
or would not enjoy the scent of her
closer to him
his senses invaded by her touch
the taste of her skin
the color of her eyes.

It's a pain he's felt before
that of being open and honest
of allowing her to invade every cell
penetrating each wall inside of his organism
once he drinks from her.

Being afraid of being
and loosing everything,
because
what he is isn't what you'd
come to expect
from a soul in a meat bag.

He adorns himself with scars from the past
each tells a tale of a woman he's loved
moments
etched onto his skin
caricatures
scribbled into the layers
reaching beneath the surface
burrowed
just like all of them.

Three steps back,
while she takes two forward.

He pushes away because of
dishonest
obtuse
obituaries
which his heart has written
for different parts of itself.

What would be so different today,
tomorrow,
or any time at all?
Those who are willing to break the walls
and seek audience with his heart
will be given the time
to make a case for custody,
to hold and respect.

Three steps back,
three steps forward.
He wonders what she hopes to accomplish
as soft tender lips reach for his own.

Penny

She flipped a penny found on the ground  heads up in hopes someone would take it, she then decided that it would be best taken care of in her possession, that others would kick it and not care for it like she would.

At that moment, I saw what I appreciated the most in her.

I wanted to let her know, but it just didn't come out. Chocking on my own words I bid her a good day, in hopes that in the future I may meet someone like her, who is willing to flip pennies in hopes that others will take them, or even take it herself because no one else would give it a good enough home. She made a fan of me today.

On forgiving yourself

Whenever in that moment
when you can and may just reach
to the inevitable
beauty in decadence
do it.

Holding back one time will lead
to a lifetime of regret
wondering what taste
those lips hold
just what texture that tongue had for you.

On fear

Afraid

because it's you

who can break my heart.

Time is a river

A couple together

walking down the breezeway

holding hands

she leans on his shoulder

he holds her by the waist.

Two old people sitting in a booth

ordering the special

they both have shared in the good

in the bad

and all the in between's.

An innocent child waits by the staircase

while mother locks the door

their one bedroom is a safe place

they both hold on to the railing

as they descend wind blows

the hair from their face.

He sits on a stool

in a bar

with a drink that never runs out

his worries, all watered down,

cease to exist for just a little while.

She hangs out at a party

suitors all tend to her needs

the well never runs dry

when so many are willing

giving it all they have,

but it's all just a game.

In dreams they meet again and again

aging stops

preconceptions stop

it's the purest feeling

as water dragons dance for them

love flows yet again.

Amour stained synapses (a fleeting feeling)

In the moonlight
it's when I think best.
As the sun rises
it's when I feel the most.
When the air blows
it's when I breathe easier.
When the sun shines
it's when I close my eyes.
As the rain falls
it's when I feel better.
When her smile glows
it's when I feel warm.
With the touch of her skin
it's when I feel alive.

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Thanks to all of you who've taken the time to go through these and read. I appreciate you, and hope that I've done a decent job entertaining you. Please come back soon, ya hear?

who_leo

I'd be Gay for you.

In the darkest of nights
and the brightest of days
you are the light
you are the shade
even though it's been so long
since I last kept your breath
inside of mine
I can still taste
the way your hair smelled
on top of our sweat
tears
secreted bodily fluids
meant to lubricate
as we turn into one
magnificent being
completely enveloped
in the moment
and lost to the world
because that's how you made me feel
make me feel
even though
I'm sure you've forgotten about it all
even burned me at your stake
it's something I'll never loose
such a sweet memory
tender
and smooth
like the skin on your breasts.

Treacherous Awakenings

Because sometimes when you think everything is over, there is always a sunrise on the horizon. It's a new day, another chance to fuck it up, or make it a little bit better.

always up to the individual.

Dreams of a sober sour

I had a dream with you last night, Sourgirl. We talked, you were pregnant, you sat on my lap, and shared warmth once again. Your hair smells so good, and your lips still as tender as always. You didn't drink anything, didn't even smoke. It was like meeting a completely different person. I wish life would have been like that, just you and me, and a bun in your oven.

Kochira wa Geinin.

we all play parts in the greatest play
parts we often choose
but more often than not
just happen to fall into.
it's not so easy to walk away
to pretend we never wanted them
being a savior
a lover
a simple person
or even that one to take care of you
because sometimes we need to be
in charge of something
even if it's just playing our part right.
congregations of actors
all meet on the stage
and life begins a new
each and every day
listen closely
and sometimes you can catch
the slip of a line here and there
not every play is perfect
but when it is some call it fate.
I tried to play a part once or twice
but my co-stars never seem to get it right
flawed that I am
it must rub off on them
or at least it seems to.
I will never know the truth of the matter
for they are elsewhere now
on another chapter
reading another line
to someone who is playing a part
willing to be that one
who makes believe
without missing a beat
on the stage of life.

When people use you up, there is nothing left.

Often I wonder what the whole point is, to be constantly hurt and let down. So many people are out there happy and rejoicing in the crap that they sow for themselves, meanwhile I've just been stuck. Nothing to do, no one to love, just pain. Physical, emotional, mental. Many times I feel as if there is no exit, that this is it. As life has come to a standstill these last 3 years, slowly moored on the beach of pain, only amniotic sedatives seem to calm me, to throw off the distant disdain of apathy and anguish. It feels as if I was meant to be like this though, no matter who enters my life they always say "you are great, you are awesome, you are meant for so much." Yet they walk away, turn their backs on me, and toss me aside like a piece of discarded cartilage, meant to be there momentarily only to serve as a buffer between their emptiness and the next thing. Great, I say. I have found that I'm that guy, the one people use in order to not feel alone, the one people use in order to feel alive, because anything is better than THIS, and so they can acquire it and do so. Because no matter how many times they say that I'm beautiful or that I'm great, it's all lies in the long run. White lies meant to keep me at bay momentarily, an emotional band aid of sorts, to be tossed once I have run my use and course. Thanks a lot, to you all, is all I have to say. You make me feel worthless, and apathetic, pathetic, and unlovable. All in all, I hope you are doing well, I hope that life treats you with some sort of kindness, that which you lack so often when dealing with matters of the heart. Thanks for the extra pain.

John Lennon knew stuff

Truth

and I wouldn't know it

If I had never

felt the both

in such strong

waves

of emotion.