Come at me bro!

Thing is that I can't seem to ever get it right. No matter how hard I try or want to be with someone, it always fails. I'm destined to be alone, and die alone. I've come to terms with this. So now, since I have nothing to hold me back I say this to you world:

Come at me bro!

I shall have the last laugh.

On stealing a kiss

In my desire for you I find myself.
When your soft touch I covet,
it is my heart you'd soothe.
Knowing I'm not able
to keep your attention
rips me to the core.

If only I could hold you
and this shell wasn't broken,
and the future was taken care of,
maybe happiness we could find.
But this is my story
and seldom is there a happy ending.

So I bow to death,
so I bow to poverty,
and I welcome the bony touch
of the sick and the impure
for we are family
and you are gone.

You walk away because it's easier
you keep away because of us.
Sometimes I wish I'd never kissed you
maybe you'd still be around
but then I wouldn't know
the soft touch of rose petals to my lips.

On a dark Pantheon

Contemplating dreams
she crawls through my head
like the yellow fog of wars past
slowly killing off life
yet the moment her dead blue eyes
meet with mine
my heart still flutters
and I embrace her poisonous kiss
because when you love
it's forever.

When you can't think about what to say, music will speak for you.

Lily Allen - Fuck You!
For you, because you know who you are.

I awaken from a dream of you into a nightmare of sorts.

Since I last wrote two people have passed away due to drug overdose. This synthetic heroin is killing people. 3 weeks ago it was a woman in her mid to late twenties, I didn't really know her but I had met her on a few occasions, a passing face one can say. I did know her reputation though, and as sad as it was it's hard not to say that we all saw that one coming. Latest addition to the count was three days ago. Brother of a childhood friend, cousin of an old old friend. Passed away much too young, 21 years too young.

That was my news this morning, as I woke up from a dream with you again, sour girl. This time it was a bit different. We lay under a tree next to a lake, not together but with one another. Streams of air passing through the branches and leafs, I could see them as they made their way over the water up to us. Red was all over, and the roots of the tree which stretched out under us like protruding veins which softly dug into us. You spoke to me, told me that I deserved so much better and that life would give to me that which I worked for. Your voice resonated against me, a feeling which now in my waking life I miss. Hell, I miss everything about the dream, your eyes, your smile, the warmth of you. As quickly as the dream began, it ended. You disappeared off the face of the earth, much like you did in real life. Then I woke up, and received a call about a friend, who 21 years too young passed away from heroin overdose.

I hate it when things like this happen, when my mind brings you out and then I'm reminded as to why I made the effort to push you away. Well, I want one thing from life, and that is my peace with you, a sober from heroin you.

Marilyn Manson is still teaching me 20 years later.

I wish I hadn't strayed from my roots. All the hippie dippie shit is all cool and all, but honestly it's kind of empty, and not all the people are as nice as you'd like to believe. At least with goth and metal people aren't pretending to be something they are not, if they like you or not they will let you know. Besides, life is about ups and downs, not about peace and love all the time, that is a Utopian dream which will only stifle the growth from this cradle, the escape from these cages of social stigma and dogma. For those of you who knew me in the last 4 years, that part of me has been lied to, used, and treated like a slave. I'm done being nice, available, and loving all the time. It's about time fuckers earned the respect, love, and admiration I once gave so freely to all.

Trivial

As much as I want to share with you, there is nothing left inside.

Caesar

I'm thinking about starting this zine, it's going to be called "Caesar." I would like to get local writers to submit their work. Will be distributing the mag to many places in South Florida. Short stories, poems, thoughts. Making it a monthly would be cool. I wonder how many people might pick it up? Biggest thing would be finding a printer, but I think that doing it all black and white might be cool. Well, we'll see what happens. It's been 6 months in thought, I think it's time to realize this idea. Will post more as it comes through.

Hey Sour

I knew you were trouble, all I wanted was someone to call honey. I'd do it all over again, much like our echos wrap around each other, marking lips with bite marks, a kiss that turned your song. I still dream about you, and though it bothers me I'm glad you are still about, even if I only see your ethereal self.

Dream escapes with sudden stops

Bad dreams are determined by the dreamer. Only certain people make my skin crawl, and girl you do that just right in all the wrong ways that I like. I don't know why you haunt me, but I certainly understand why I stay away.

Catterpillars

I could almost taste you every time my tongue felt the bite marks on my lip.

I've heard this a few times this week

If you don't have any enemies, you are doing something wrong.

Right on.

This is my multi-pass.

It's another weekend
she's already called
"my mom is taking me over
be there soon."

He waits in his bed,
under the covers.
It's been cold out lately
and he didn't sleep very well.

A few minutes pass by before she's there
he hears her say hello to his family
and walks over to his room.

The door opens,
she enters and closes it behind her.
A tight fitting shirt outlines her figure
thin yet curvy
her breasts perky with youth
baggy jeans
which soon come off before she makes her way to him
long slender legs
smooth to the touch and very kind to the eye
she's white like snow
and he likes that.

She comes into his bed
kisses him
caress him
"I missed you."
they kiss
and pop The 5th Element into the VCR.

Her bosom presses against him
her hand running up and down his chest
one leg over his pressing on his thigh
her lips slightly part as their saliva mixes.
His fingers feel the contours of her hips
the texture of her underwear
as his other hand touches her back
and pulls her closer to him.

She rips her top off
and he his
their bodies scream in ecstasy
as bare skin touches bare skin
and they press hard against each other
trying to break that point where the one ends
and the other begins
making way into one another
ending the separation of time and space.

Interchanging tactile sensations
eyes closed
eyes open
the smell of her hair
her skin
his sweat
their kink.

She jumps atop him and pushes him down
they stare into each others eyes and smile
just as her hips grind back and fro
she positions him just
so he presses between her lips.

They wear one last layer each
to keep themselves at bay.

He pulls her down by the neck
and kisses her hard
he then rolls her on her back
kissing her neck
kissing her chest
stomach and thighs.

Her smell drives him near insanity
he kisses her thighs and bit by bit
slowly makes his way to her last layer.
He bites onto the edges of her silky underwear
pulls it down with several jerking motions
like an animal tearing at bare flesh
preparing to enjoy a savory meal.

With his bare hands he pulls off her underwear
silk up over his head her legs now lay on his shoulders
just so she arches her back and pulls him in with her legs
a smirk over her face she pinches her nipples tight
his face now buried in her cunt
he can taste her
smell her
feel her
she is everything
his thirst is quenched by her love
her body starts to flush
just as he uses his hands on her hips
to keep her rhythm with his.

He smears her all over his face,
then kisses her belly
breasts
neck
just as he gets to eye level
she licks his lips
savoring herself
then kissing him.

She takes his underwear off
stroking him as she kisses his lips
then taking him into her mouth
soft tongue
soft hair touching his thighs
she lays on her side
with her legs open to him
his fingers caress
her soft petals melting in his fingers.

When she has him as hard as she wants him
she straddles him
uses one of her hands to take him into her
as the other keeps her balance.

He feels her warmth as he penetrates her
everything wavers as reality condenses into this.
Time stops,
space implodes.
She arches down to him and they kiss
bodies are now intermingled
they both push hard against one another
so much so they can hear their hair grinding.

There are explosions in the background
as Korben Dallas destroys alien scum.

Her hair hangs over his face
her eyes shut close
and her body falls limp on top of him.
He bites her neck as she whimpers
grabbing her ass with his hands
to gain leverage over her.
She scratches his chest
emitting a moan that makes him go deeper
harder
squeezing his hands over her flesh.

He then takes her head with one hand
and starts to kiss her lips
feeling his cock get really hard
his balls are now squeezing
both bodies are quivering in orgasm
his moans intensify hers
as he unloads himself deep inside her womb.

They both now lay in bed,
breathing heavily
watching as Lilu Dallas is asking Korben
"What is love?"
They both look at each other and he says
"This, this is love."
"Show me." Says Lilu.
"Show her.." Says the priest.
And so he kisses her.

Looking at each other
hearts beating hard
they kiss softly
between puffs from their cigarettes
smiles and caresses.
Her leg over his
as her soaking cunt drips down on them
she leans into his ear and in between nibbles whispers
"again."