She wraps up tight
around me
and all I know
is that her skin
soft and sweet
is touching
all of me
from head to toe
wrapped up
in her
and it feels good
when her hand
rubs my chest
and her hair
tickles my arm
her bare legs
wrapped against mine
it feels whole
like the puzzle
is coming together
and with her swaying hips
rubbing herself against me
we fall asleep in the embrace.
Short stories, poems, among other play things. A constant work in progress. Forever changing.
22 May 2012
20 May 2012
Those moments
when hearing her say
she's always liked you
she's always liked you
that makes the world
shine a little brighter.
Woman
Something about
the way her hair
smells
while we lay together
that keeps the calm
and thoughts
still
on the softness
of her freckles
as finger tips
slowly
cross her back
to her neck
on her head
running strands
between fingers
that caress her scalp
as she sleeps
snoring, yet
the sound lulls me
to the ether.
18 May 2012
16 May 2012
Breathe, while you still can.
You see, the thing is that as human beings we are inherently needy. Be it for attention, a hug, someone to talk to, the friend to listen, to speak, to wait for. A lover, an enemy, a gruesome and dramatic stop or start. We all need some of these things in life. I have been lucky to find some if not all. Lately I had thought myself so lost, so unaccompanied, but it took a couple of friends, and some strange situations, to make me realize that I am not as alone as I once thought. These people, a bartender, a mother, and someone who befriended me just because. These three have made me feel something again besides despair and loneliness.
It's taken so long though, and even if I do feel enlightened at this moment in time, I'm afraid it's something I may loose again, because it's those people in life that let you know you are here, that there is a connection from within to the real world. That emotion.
Certainly one of the people I've grown fonder of is a friend. someone who I started hanging out with because I honestly felt alone, and she was willing to talk to me. This friend made a whole lot of difference, kept in touch, and even allowed me to inundate her txt in-box with rants and raves about emotional stuff that no one should have to deal with, especially when unwarranted. She's made me feel again though. After so long of not wanting to, and blocking every little bit of emotion out, I started feeling something again. I started to feel like someone enjoyed my company, enjoyed to listen to me, didn't brake me down, bring me down, tear at me with words. She listens, and I listen. She is a really good friend. I'm sorry if I've ever made her feel uncomfortable, but someone like this doesn't come around very often, and I'm pretty good at going over board most of the time.
It's certainly a change from sour girl. She was nice and made me happy, but within a month or two she became mean and tore at my ego, tearing me down and making me feel bad. That wasn't cool, and it's still causing issues... because I put so much trust in her, and I wanted to believe EVERYTHING she said. With Dibbs, it's not so. I have trust, but I've figured out to keep my distance. When I start getting too attached I withdraw myself. Because I don't know where she stands besides our friendship, and I don't want to ruin that because it's important to me. Even if something was to come out of this, this friendship, this great personal relationship we have and are building would be that base on which it is built.
Again though, I'm just jumping the gun there. Although it's so true. If I ever want something real with someone, that's how it's going to have to be. I'm not a party person anymore, I don't want to spend endless nights getting effed up and regretting it the next 3 days. I want to start settling down, start a family, and get to living. After all, who knows just how long I do have left. It's taken me a long time to figure out what I want exactly out of life, and even though I'm sure that I'm not going to get it to the T as to what I want, I hope that I'm able to at least kind of find something along those lines.
Anyhow, I'm just glad to have had this reawakening. The pessimist within me said that it will surely pass, but I can only hope that I can make the headway to keep myself afloat long enough so that when the waves of depression come back again, I can keep my head above water.
It's taken so long though, and even if I do feel enlightened at this moment in time, I'm afraid it's something I may loose again, because it's those people in life that let you know you are here, that there is a connection from within to the real world. That emotion.
Certainly one of the people I've grown fonder of is a friend. someone who I started hanging out with because I honestly felt alone, and she was willing to talk to me. This friend made a whole lot of difference, kept in touch, and even allowed me to inundate her txt in-box with rants and raves about emotional stuff that no one should have to deal with, especially when unwarranted. She's made me feel again though. After so long of not wanting to, and blocking every little bit of emotion out, I started feeling something again. I started to feel like someone enjoyed my company, enjoyed to listen to me, didn't brake me down, bring me down, tear at me with words. She listens, and I listen. She is a really good friend. I'm sorry if I've ever made her feel uncomfortable, but someone like this doesn't come around very often, and I'm pretty good at going over board most of the time.
It's certainly a change from sour girl. She was nice and made me happy, but within a month or two she became mean and tore at my ego, tearing me down and making me feel bad. That wasn't cool, and it's still causing issues... because I put so much trust in her, and I wanted to believe EVERYTHING she said. With Dibbs, it's not so. I have trust, but I've figured out to keep my distance. When I start getting too attached I withdraw myself. Because I don't know where she stands besides our friendship, and I don't want to ruin that because it's important to me. Even if something was to come out of this, this friendship, this great personal relationship we have and are building would be that base on which it is built.
Again though, I'm just jumping the gun there. Although it's so true. If I ever want something real with someone, that's how it's going to have to be. I'm not a party person anymore, I don't want to spend endless nights getting effed up and regretting it the next 3 days. I want to start settling down, start a family, and get to living. After all, who knows just how long I do have left. It's taken me a long time to figure out what I want exactly out of life, and even though I'm sure that I'm not going to get it to the T as to what I want, I hope that I'm able to at least kind of find something along those lines.
Anyhow, I'm just glad to have had this reawakening. The pessimist within me said that it will surely pass, but I can only hope that I can make the headway to keep myself afloat long enough so that when the waves of depression come back again, I can keep my head above water.
Marilyn Manson - Dope Hat
I don't know how he does it... But this cat in the hat is always making too much sense to me.
Hungry?
Sometimes the mind
it plays dirty tricks
and it makes it all seem
the color rose.
In the end
it's the same as blood
spilling from the veins
of the lost and obtuse
onto a pavement
aching to be fed.
it plays dirty tricks
and it makes it all seem
the color rose.
In the end
it's the same as blood
spilling from the veins
of the lost and obtuse
onto a pavement
aching to be fed.
Hello in Pixels
Pixels
tiny little squares
of color
black and white
all meant to paint a picture
to convey ideas and thoughts.
We type the letters in
with our finger tips
crunching at little keys
trying to convey
what our heart desires
what our mind wishes to say
and it only takes a second
for it to travel
twenty
thirty
forty
one thousand miles.
Tiny little pixels
squares of information
ones and zero's
all making their way
across an empty span
full of electric information
all meant for just you and I.
And when they arrive
these pixels
tidbits of information
form an image
on our communicator screens
meant to inform
to convey
and share
what would be
something which
we'd like to hear
but are only able to convey
on the information
super
highway.
"Hello."
In pixels.
If only one could see
the lips shape themselves
tongue against teeth and pallet
as they purse into a kiss
in the air
for the wind
to the ear
of a listener who awaits to hear
"Hello"
in pixels.
tiny little squares
of color
black and white
all meant to paint a picture
to convey ideas and thoughts.
We type the letters in
with our finger tips
crunching at little keys
trying to convey
what our heart desires
what our mind wishes to say
and it only takes a second
for it to travel
twenty
thirty
forty
one thousand miles.
Tiny little pixels
squares of information
ones and zero's
all making their way
across an empty span
full of electric information
all meant for just you and I.
And when they arrive
these pixels
tidbits of information
form an image
on our communicator screens
meant to inform
to convey
and share
what would be
something which
we'd like to hear
but are only able to convey
on the information
super
highway.
"Hello."
In pixels.
If only one could see
the lips shape themselves
tongue against teeth and pallet
as they purse into a kiss
in the air
for the wind
to the ear
of a listener who awaits to hear
"Hello"
in pixels.
Sand Covered Sheets
I look into her eyes
and I see the world.
It's as subtle as a kiss
formed on the lips
impulsed by muscles
all over the body
to touch rose petals
that speak such gentle
words.
Soft skin
like dew covered foliage
against my fingers
it feels so sweet
she seems so tender
and tastes so bright.
I caress her body
and cannot lie
that I ache to be inside
every inch of her
and her in mine
under my skin
crawling slowly
through the veins
and the arteries
from the brain
into every muscle group
every crevice
chemical stains
dopamine
norepinephrine
all leave a trail behind
just from the feel
of her softest kiss
skin which like braille
I read carefully
with my fingertips.
And it says
"Hello."
and I see the world.
It's as subtle as a kiss
formed on the lips
impulsed by muscles
all over the body
to touch rose petals
that speak such gentle
words.
Soft skin
like dew covered foliage
against my fingers
it feels so sweet
she seems so tender
and tastes so bright.
I caress her body
and cannot lie
that I ache to be inside
every inch of her
and her in mine
under my skin
crawling slowly
through the veins
and the arteries
from the brain
into every muscle group
every crevice
chemical stains
dopamine
norepinephrine
all leave a trail behind
just from the feel
of her softest kiss
skin which like braille
I read carefully
with my fingertips.
And it says
"Hello."
15 May 2012
As much my story as it is yours.
outside of a bar
he tells her beautiful things
she shrugs
she smiles
it's not like she
hasn't heard them before
it's not like he
hasn't said them before
to others
from others
it's all the same really
one way or another
we all melt
to the feelings
like ice cream
to the hot summer sun
we spill on the pavement
and the ants
they all eat so well that day
coming by and rejoicing
on the sweetness that
the mammal has dropped
from it's mouth
it's all so much the same
but it always changes
she shrugs
he smiles
if something else could be said
it would be too much
she'd walk away
and think him strange
but
no but's
it's all downhill from there
at least until she's not afraid
to be held.
he tells her beautiful things
she shrugs
she smiles
it's not like she
hasn't heard them before
it's not like he
hasn't said them before
to others
from others
it's all the same really
one way or another
we all melt
to the feelings
like ice cream
to the hot summer sun
we spill on the pavement
and the ants
they all eat so well that day
coming by and rejoicing
on the sweetness that
the mammal has dropped
from it's mouth
it's all so much the same
but it always changes
she shrugs
he smiles
if something else could be said
it would be too much
she'd walk away
and think him strange
but
no but's
it's all downhill from there
at least until she's not afraid
to be held.
11 May 2012
Fleeting?
If love is fleeting
then why does it stick
like shag carpet
to a strip of Velcro
every time
it comes around?
Like the time
that I fell for my
tequila queen
She still hounds dreams
and imagination.
Now I've felt the wind of
falling face first
onto the floor of emotion
but I keep catching
myself just as I'm about
to bust my face on the
linoleum.
Because I don't want a ghost
of a woman
to haunt me anymore.
Because there is no feeling
like no feeling at all.
It is peace.
then why does it stick
like shag carpet
to a strip of Velcro
every time
it comes around?
Like the time
that I fell for my
tequila queen
She still hounds dreams
and imagination.
Now I've felt the wind of
falling face first
onto the floor of emotion
but I keep catching
myself just as I'm about
to bust my face on the
linoleum.
Because I don't want a ghost
of a woman
to haunt me anymore.
Because there is no feeling
like no feeling at all.
It is peace.
10 May 2012
(SELF) Sabotage
Video by
Beastie Boys - Sabotage
-(SELF) Sabotage-
Because things are too good
when your face isn't covered in dirt
because when you want to dance
nothing is going down
there isn't anywhere you can run
where you wont face your own sabotage
the places you've been
the facades you've seen
they all fall apart
and the world only makes sense
when you are neck deep
in the lost feeling
of self loathing
and destruction
Self Sabotage.
So fuck all the fakes
and burn all the bridges
because the world is fucked
and you are just another doll
waiting to be ripped
by the hellhound
sent to eat paper faces.
09 May 2012
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