In the last days

I'm in a lot of pain. I'm going through hell. This is what you wanted to avoid when you said you couldn't be near me, I get you. Though I do wish, that you'd sticked around. Would have had someone to talk to, converse with and that would have meant the world to me. You know, the reason why I wanted you then was because I knew this was coming. A time when I would be immobile, for a long time, and in pain, constantly. Was it so wrong to want someone then? So wrong to need someone to share love with for the last time? All I was asking for was the chance to love you, to show you something I wouldn't be able to show anyone for a long time, if again. That I could love you, that I could hold you and make us come together. Now, I am powerless, weakened by the ravages of not just time, but also this life I lead. My back is twisted and torn, and I will never be able to be that man I once was. Never able to go into the wild, out into the edge of reality. I am here, and will be forever. In my pain, in my 2D kingdom, as you live life in 3D. If I regret something, it was letting you go to him so easily. If I regret something, it was loosing you too soon. Now I'm here, alone, cold, without human touch, in chronic loss of thought, doped up, giving up.