In the last days

I'm in a lot of pain. I'm going through hell. This is what you wanted to avoid when you said you couldn't be near me, I get you. Though I do wish, that you'd sticked around. Would have had someone to talk to, converse with and that would have meant the world to me. You know, the reason why I wanted you then was because I knew this was coming. A time when I would be immobile, for a long time, and in pain, constantly. Was it so wrong to want someone then? So wrong to need someone to share love with for the last time? All I was asking for was the chance to love you, to show you something I wouldn't be able to show anyone for a long time, if again. That I could love you, that I could hold you and make us come together. Now, I am powerless, weakened by the ravages of not just time, but also this life I lead. My back is twisted and torn, and I will never be able to be that man I once was. Never able to go into the wild, out into the edge of reality. I am here, and will be forever. In my pain, in my 2D kingdom, as you live life in 3D. If I regret something, it was letting you go to him so easily. If I regret something, it was loosing you too soon. Now I'm here, alone, cold, without human touch, in chronic loss of thought, doped up, giving up.

Links are all broken

Life has taken a turn
one which I do not agree with
they will cut deeper
I will have to take their seeds
and sprout trees of addiction
when I'm the weakest and most unavailable
when I am in need of something else


All along I needed some one alongside
to at least hear me out
and tell me it is going to be ok
when my own hope dwindles
and reality sets in so hard
that it finishes breaking my back.


Reality is
there wont be anyone.
Fact is
we are born alone
and we die alone
and what happens in the middle
we are really just lucky for.

Sleep

Still you've made your way
deep into the crevices of my dreams
all while I'm asleep and without conscience
I don't even know how to explain why.


There were times I felt like you read my mind
that I did things you wanted without parting your lips
and now here you are again
in my head
in my sleep
conversing.

Blank

Bad news suck.

Not living because of it sucks more.

Imminent retirement.

Everything is over.

Johny Cash - We'll Meet Again

I heard this, just fell in love again. LOLz Don't know where, don't know when. But I know it will happen again.

Never say Never I guess. Life takes us down some strange paths.

Him and Her

"Him."
make a due
with a message
hoping that she knows
the recent passing
of an order to the heart
from a mind that has found
one for which it can stop
and think
and think
and think
though it is not enough
the message must come though
I wonder what she'll do.
It's 2 am and I will say
"Hey, great time here
wish you were near."

Send.


"Her."
What the fuck
again with this crap
can't he just see
it was all in a lark.
How obtuse
2 am and he's out
getting drunk and confused
he sure is lost in his thoughts
if he thinks that I care
to know that he's there.
I should just shut off my phone
so he leaves me alone.
Good-night fool.



"Chorus"
So they went on
he just wanted her love
she just wanted to be alone
it wasn't anything beyond truth
that made them both seek excuse
to believe in the dues
and the prices they paid
to be lost in the verse.
So diverse these two
yet unable to truly communicate.
Shame to see them loose their heads
to the red queens offence.

Crumplestilstkin

Crumplestilstkin lives in a rut
in a hole
on a wall
all built around the hall
where he paces
back and fro
like he's in some sort of race
with his shadow
always behind
it's no wonder he's lost
look how it follows
as he paces from the hollows
making every trip
up and down the strip
with his eyes on his back
and his hands on the road
never to share this world
with anyone but his shadow
the one that tried to eat him
the one to get away from.

Just cos you don't see it
it doesn't mean it's not there.

We all have demons
it's a question
of which we are willing to share.

I dunno, why even read this?

mother fucker
i fucking just want to write
but nothing comes out
except this vulgar
coagulated
thought of a spew
that doesn't even
make one bit of sense
I say
what the hell would
I think if I looked back at this
and said "those were the times."
I'd rather lay dead.

Ninth and Holy Day Rd.

Increments of wax melt off in the sun
as the finer points of stars
begin to wither in the dawn.

Making out with the night
the sun burst escapes
over the horizon near the shore
shaping up a bright new day.

"Shall we share
some of this spare change?
I made it out of nowhere
with my road dog and my strings."
Her lips purse like springs
a lazy smile sticks out
from under her weathered hat.
"I've always wanted to try those
you know
the ones they have here.
Nowhere else man,
this is the last place."

It's not like it's forever
that anyone tried to look
but it was a nook
that they laid under
after their last meal
hoping to keep the cold at bay.

My weeping angel.

Manic Mondays
Seep into Wednesdays
all along it's just another day.
Constitutions are broken
moreover tranquility
when the kiss of her lover
will never be felt again.

It comes as easy
as the last storm
does onto the mariner.
Locations never matter
especially to the blind.
It never turns you over
hoping that the sun will shower
your pastures forever
all done in a lark.

Imaginations all flower
in an instant it's soon done
distant callers aroused
in their apprehension
to the passing
of a lifetime.
Yet as it lays there
the one true love
will live on in minds forever
or at least until it's their turn.

My thoughts on New York

This is a blog video from over a year ago, previously unpublished. Gonzo Journalism at it's best? LOLz

Insurrection

Contradictory to you
and to me
is the reality of the situation.

No one knows
or feels
that there is a sane evaluation.

Of the things
that we
thought wold cause hesitation.

When the bulk
of trees
uprooted the grand foundation.

Because

It's not just
to thread
on a land left for the vegetation.

For man
woman
to taste these revelations.

I cried
to sleep
thinking of your emancipation.

To think
that I
worried about that separation.

When truly
you see
it was a plan of out most perfection.

everyone needs a rest

Taking a few days off from this thing. Certain events have occurred that leave me wondering about a lot of other things. Will be back soon though.

RIP Adam H., I'm more than sure you'll be missed.

who_leo