Kindred Spirits

There is little else left but friendship
be it that of individuals once thought lost,
to the ones who have all but forgotten.
Keeping it simple helps a great deal,
not letting life get too complicated
will make all the difference one day.
It's like a standing body of water
once you dam the whole thing to hell
it will rot and fester
without being able to flow freely.

As the years go by nothing much seems to change
but the expressions on the faces of my generation.
A certain pull from gravity which brings down
even the brightest and widest of smiles
into a visible frown, those poor clowns.
These years which lay so heavy on our faces
only bring sorrow in the knowledge
that we'll never see them again.
Inside we are jealous of our younger counterparts
because it is their tomorrow we want so bad.

So bad we'll do what it takes to make sure they remember us.
Dead flesh still clinging to bone with nothing left
except for a name tag poorly attached to our emotions,
the only raw thing which we've kept downplaying for so long.
It is they who will ultimately destroy us
if we aren't knowledgeable of their humble begin.
If we are fools and don't heath to the demands
of a foolish heart every once in a while.
Because to live is to love is to live to love,
or something like that.

Kindred spirits will always say hello to one another
even when the two people don't know who the other is,
there are some things only time will tell.
Let the waters flow freely and carve the terrain
it is better to bring on change that to stifle the self.

Necrosis

it is your ultra violence

your indecision

your mental atrophy

that has left the world

standing still

only in your head

we've all moved on

lived and loved

the world within you

unstirred and hollow

you move away

but there is no sorrow

deeper than whats in your bags

deep

stowed away

Writers block.



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Ssica's year

It was just a year ago, that she walked into my life and left just as easily. Ssica, how I wonder if your real name is Jessica, and if you remember me as I remember you. Chances are no, and no. But whatever, it still doesn't change the fact that I had an amazing experience, and learned a very real life lesson because of you.

I thank you, wherever you may be.

Maybe one day, we will bump into each other. We may not know who the other is, but something tells me that somewhere deep inside we'll recognize something about one another, and we'll end up talking. One never knows, and hope although empty, is all one can have in such situations. Life may have been very different with you around. I could have not met Sour Girl, or K, and life would have been swell. I could have lived a happier life without knowing either of them, not so much K, but most def Sour Girl. I can honestly say that I've also learned a lot through her, most definitely not as much from as through, and for that I'm thankful.

This last year has been a roller coaster, something that was so simple and quick turned into a monster of catastrophic proportions, best part is dealing with it mostly alone. Mom's is there, but she's not. The one shoulder I looked to lean on, turned out to be a heroin whore, more than just once too. Man, what a weird year. Either way, I'm glad it all went down, I really am. Because I know.

I still have that glass bead, and I carry it everywhere with me. I don't know why, it's kind of silly, I know... but it's something I look at every once in a while and I know that no matter what, life will always hold little surprises for you. I'll see you when I see you, in real life, or in my dreams. Stay beautiful.

who

I will always love you, stranger.

American Pornographica Xmas

This unconcern of people wanting to know/seek the truth, and willingness to fall into a monotonous social structure, disturbs me. 

I am fully aware of your disposition, and willingness to ostracize those who do not fit in with your norms. Pointing and staring, wondering what their mother may think of the distasteful actions they now engage in. To you, just another dissident who thinks they can change the world, drugged up and tuned out.

Meanwhile, you are lost in your own trip, your own mental game of who runs the world. A hyper dome of injustice and trampling rips through the world. You only really care about one thing anyway... your wallet bursts fat, and the veins run deep with poison, oh the life of the vain.

Observing and interacting in a socially aware mindset has left my energy drained, with your lies and false idols, dances for the mascaraed in this so called life little is left for truth, love, and happiness. 

We were dead when we were born.

We laid dead when we were burned.

Fun is dead.

Love is dead.

Peace is dead.

Choice is dead.

Unique moments which once differentiated the day from night have been white washed by your indecisions and lack of spirit. You only care about one thing now, when once all you thought about was the sunrise, and the feel of the wind passing through your hair. Love has become a fleeting thought. All you ever really cared about was one thing... your veins ache, your wallets spill out with the prick of the needle... Oh the curse of the vain.

All Hail the Mighty Dollar!

Freedom is chained up at your doorstep, and you don't even see it.

All Hail the Mighty Dollar!

Give up everything for your trusted side gun, kill another infidel with your hand pistol pointed at their skull, the image replays over and over on CNN and other major news networks. You are a great hero now, your name should go up on the red wall.


Spill my love all over with my fun in your mouth, words shooting out of my gun a mile a minute, heading for your palette, next stop is lodged deep within your brain, next to the memory of our first kiss. "All I want is to see someone I respect without their clothes,"* her hair spread out over my sleeping bag, keeping each others warmth inside a tent, within the woods of our psyches we give in to our animal lust. Our vain egos ache for my prick to penetrate you, my heroin seeps into your every crevice as the stars light your eyes, and we fall asleep in each others arms, aching for the morning sun to melt us yet again so we may start a new.

Fun is dead.

Love is dead.

Peace is dead.

Choice is dead.

We are all born dead, brought to life by breath. Until we choose to die, to stop living for ourselves. Choices made, lead to roads of destruction and war. Lives lost to the mine bombs in your mind, placed there by your mommy and daddy, school teachers, preachers, and televised opium. You kill them off without remorse.


BOOM!


Their gone. they never fit in anyway, they were born disposable to you. Their digressions from your righteous upbringing made them nothing but a hindrance. A hindrance to your salvation. With them gone, getting to heaven wont be an issue. Go home, theres a message on the phone.

"It's John, I just thought I'd call... I know we haven't talked for a while, and... well... Sherley died last night... she O.D.'d on her prescription pills. By the time I found her in the tub with... it was too late... I didn't know she had so many stashed away like that..."

Delete the message, hang up, they are drug addicts, people who would steal and destroy all in order to get what they want. A fix. Or at least thats what you've been told all along by your preacher... by your social norms, to stay away from them. Meanwhile, you hang up on a friend who needed someone to talk to... Before he pulled the trigger.

Merry Xmas America.

[*Lyric by Say Anything]

Dimples

Thing is that I hate you
Thing is that you hate me
Thing is that I forgave you
Thing is that you forgot me.
Thing is that I missed you
Thing is that you dissed me.
Thing is that they conned you
Thing is that I read him like a book.
And it scared him,
he made you push me away.

I had imagined you could see through
the lies and the facades that the drones put up
but even that itself was just another lie
that you fed me.

I had imagined you could awaken something
something beyond the grave
inside the mind and spirit.
Also, that was a lie.

Instead, I only feel disgraced.
Instead, I only feel disgust.
That you shared yourself with me
who had shared themselves with none.
That I had shared myself with you
who had shared themselves with lots.

I the unknowledgeable being
you the giver of wisdom
I still am thankful for this
but feel like it could have been different.
At least I wish I would have known
not to get attached to you
before everything went down
and I went down on you.

I have a bucket full of thoughts

Because it took me a long time, to get back on the train.

Your X-Mas Gift, oh readers...

Is ready and wrapped, set to post on the 24th. I hope you like it.

: - D

The human robots awaken every morning. Their tasks have been programed, in order for more efficient calculations and productivity. Another day in the Megalopolis. They follow in line, through traffic lights dessigned to test their patience, and over load their circuits. Sometimes, the machine will brake, and so will the computer. In comparison to the rest, some of us are broken, or at least malfunctioning. We do not give into commands, we act as autonomous beings, bringing our reality forth. We are, and that scares them. We are, and that makes people wonder what it is that we have that they don't, which makes us so unique. Some may say, insanity.

With our minds warped around the dissilusionment of the world, we try and make the best of it. We walk through a path, much different than the human robot. Be it with drugs, or meditation, or some sort of overwhelming mental power, we have changed our reality. From the facade that has been fed to us as small children, into the reality that stands before us. A world caving into itself, a universe that is hollow, and cold. We travel in this space ship earth, through the void. We fall, forever, when shall we see the end? In the past, people always say the end is right here, the end is right... here... but it is not. This planet will go on for a long time, even after humans are long dead. Nothing makes us so special, that the earth would die with us. After all, we are just a cancer.

Some people really give into their role, and tear open the earths surface, in order to extract it's precious metals. Precious, just another word created by man, in order to give itself an excuse. Some people destroy, and some let themselves be destroyed. Others follow blindly into the emptyness of the future, and hope that their signs will make a difference in the world. Nothing is going to change what some have planed, the truth is that unless you wake up, and prepare yourself, no one is coming to save you. You are just another face, another body in the crowd. Who cares about you, but yourself?

I am a nihilist. I don't care much about anything, and I don't mind the destruction that is to come. Because the blind wont see it coming, and the awoken ones will only try to resist a little bit. Maybe if more people were aware, then I might give two shits, but like zombies, even some of those who claim to be "awake," give into their television fed education. They buy buy buy, and want everything oh so pretty. They drive their SUV's, and shop like theres nothing wrong with spending 100 dollars on a shirt. They make me sick. You think you are awake? You are just a ZOMBIE.

If it was ultimately up to me, I'd let it all happen. People have become so dumb, so over saturated with bullshit, that it's time. LET THEM EAT CAKE. If the government thinks they can keep a lid on it, and control the mess, they are sadly mystaken. There are many out there, who think as I do, and we are not going to join some extreme right wing, or some extreme left. Because we don't believe in your bullshit. We are here, we live, and we will survive. We are the next generation of Humanity, and you have already spoiled your own dinner plans, ours are still going strong.

There is no reason to think that things will go badly. Or that they wont. It really hangs in the ballance right now. If they do, don't expect anything nice. If they don't, expect nothing either. It's just the way it is. Maniquins, people are all maniquins. Unless they give you proof of their humanity, you should not trust them, you should not keep near them. When you notice that they care more about their outward appearance than they do their mental stability, and they are deeply connected, concider running. When you feel "I think this person might be off their rocker," you may want to run. When you realize that there is something deeply wrong with that person, and there is nothing you can do but run, hang out for a minute, and see just how fucked up they are. Why? Because, you need to know what is out there, who is it that controls the world. It's people like this who sell salvation.

Study them, spend time with them. The half crazies don't count, you must spend time with someone truly insane. Someone who has decided to stop their meds, someone who is not alright. Someone who believes anything they read, and see. You need to be aware, be on your toes. You cannot let them keep you, and control you. Explore their mind with a fine picked comb. Chances are, you wont want to be near someone like this again, but for the time being, you'll need the experience in order to keep them past arms length, away from you.

So what will you do? Will you give into the world? Will you fight? Will you just sit back and watch it all destroy itself? All and neither. Don't ever take your life for granted, and that of those who are real. Be glad you have a chance to ponder these things, and you are not worried about what to wear tomorrow, and how you'll look hotter in this or that. About how cute this is, or that isn't. Trivial matters are trivial, and should be left as such. 

Long Live Discordia.

Hey...

"A shudder comes o'er me-
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well;-
Long, long shall I rue thee,
Too deeply to tell."*
*-When we two parted; Lord Byron

Tricksters and jokers

A first kiss is all you need to awaken the beast.

Tristes apariciones

Don't ask what you can do for the world, for the world is lost in itself. Don't ask what the world can do for you, for the world is lost in itself.

It's not about the love anymore.

It's not about the war.

It's not about the forgotten.

It's not about the ones we keep.

It's about you and me.

And a million stars in the heavens burst out suddenly lighting up a starless night.

Like the kiss of a troubadours lips that leave you aching for more

You will remember me for always.

It's nice to know that my cats will always love me. As long as I keep feeding them.