Shoulda been a comic flip book.

The way they met
was straight out of the pages
of some long lost storybook
once written by a deranged author
on a cynical night
during which they would just talk to each other
without fear of rejection or acceptance
only because they felt their own spirits
compelled to interact.




Little did they know
when he approached her
that this would be
the beginning
of the end
of a wonderful friendship
that he would miss
and she would wish
she could just dream away.




After striking conversation
without looking for a connection
they knew they had something right.
When she asked if he'd accompany her
to a rock show that night
there was no way
he could say no
to such a beautiful smile.




She drove
he relaxed
her rainbow eyes bright
their feelings intensified.
They spoke about music
they talked about life
the sickness of the world
humanity's plight.




After a night full of dance
they arrived to their place of meeting
here they stood outside of their vehicles
and smoked one last cigarette.
But as they stood there
something came over them
and they knew what it was
that which they'd been sensing all night.




They both felt something in their bones
this wasn't normal
their empyrean fires roared
and as they walked around each other
the way animals sizing one another do
their noses in the air
eyes staring everywhere
something roaring in their hearts
their synapses a blaze.
They knew it would happen again.
For now this is not
their end.

It was the first night
that sour girls' eyes would gleam.
It was the first night
that he would wish they could relive.

Happy Little Pill Head Girl

A Foreword:

I have known many people who have been "pill heads," or addicts to prescription medicine. This is not uncommon in the society where I come from, and even in my run ins with other classes it is often the well educated who also fall for this menace, since it's not "illegal." It is a monster of unimaginable girth, one which destroys and consumes without mercy. I have lost friends because of this, I have come to terms with the fact that one cannot help those who are addicts, for only they can truly help themselves. I love all of my friends, and I would never want to see them in harms way. I present to you

"Happy Little Pill Head Girl."

not blind

born with two eyes

seeing the world

experiencing reality

coming to terms with observations

applying whats' been learned in the past

Action

It must be taken

Direction

It must be planned

must not let petty things obscure judgement

not a crow

only human

able to feel emotion

easy

must not be overtaken

kind people are hard to find

many like to pretend

the sick laugh at the unknown

prying open a book of boxes

in which to place everyone in

chameleons are everywhere

don't even know where to start

cover trails of intelligence

in search of truth

that lays squandered away

hoping no one will see

pretend like it's not happening

pretend knowing nothing

makes amends

it's lies

that break and shatter

facades so well built up

so intricate

Babylon is falling down

falling down

Babylon is falling down

my dear lady.

All along

play the part of the fool

to see how far it's pushed

blood letting

bled dry

death

rebirth

awaken

A phoenix 

rises from the ashes

spreads it's wings over the plains

floating effortlessly in the sky

away from treachery

deceit

apathy

into something new

with brand new eyes

to see the world

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Where are you? I can't believe I lost youblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah There was a time I would have cared, bit's and pieces make my memory rattle. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Can I even remember what you look like? I think I'd know if I saw you again face to face, we'd both know. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah So much white noise in my head. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Although some laugh and scorn at this, sometimes things happen for a reason. Even a godless man such as myself can see this chaos envelop people in quantum anomalys often brought together with a common goal. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah The noise makes my head ache... The noise makes my back ache... The noise... blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Theres death, rampant, everywhere... all I can say is blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah like a rattling fresh body added to the total weight amount makes up a fresh kill count like none they had seen. Words like bullets penetrated his dura matter and killed on contact. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Theres nothing that would matter much, I mean, who cares, I can just do what I want. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Love.

Disambiguation

It's freedom

the best part.

It's finally knowing

that you are truly awake.

That it's not the storm,

but the calm that should terrify.

It's the great bang,

inside your head.

It's a friends words,

so true and well spawned.

A complete revamping

of your critical mass.

Thoughts interlaced

with a fragrant herb.

Truth.

Knowing that it's not you.

Lost Thoughts on a Friday Night

She sits at a bar, in Cincinnati. Her loose dreds hang down with a gray bandanna keeping them from her face. Her soft fingers reach down to grab her cold dark beer.The lines of her curves are outlined by the light bouncing off the bar. A silhouette to those who pass her by. She plays with a glass bead, brown and round. It's all she has.

He sits at his friends house in Fort Lauderdale. His dreds are up behind his head, keeping them out of his face. His beer is cold, and sitting next to him, his large hands crush the can. He just painted a couple of lizards, and is enjoying beer with friends. He is holding a glass bead in his hand, clear and with white stripes. It's all he has.

One kiss, one illicit moment in time. Shared at the eve of the new year. Permanently burned into their memories. This is all they have left, a kiss, a bead. Miles away from each other, they know that it is something they may never find. Or will they? Time will only tell.

Mental Prosthetics

Earlier tonight while tempering their thoughts
a few tears rolled down their face.
They then knew the feeling of alone whilst lost
in a place deep in the woods of memory
back to a time when they knew from the beginning
that nothing would be the same
and it was ok.

It was like being lost at a street corner
where you always had your fill
throwing dimes to beggars
the whole time drinking up their wine.

Little places where
lob sided faces
traveling through time
are making their facades
a whole new thing
what will spring bring.

Now it's all lost
in time
a memory's fading
away from their minds.

A tear drop falls
onto the rugged floor
in her thoughts he still smiles
and it washes it all away.

Letting go

This world feels heavy on my back
it cracks and creeks
with the weight of my sins.

I have asked for penance
the one who can forgive me
wont even look me in the face.

Just what things have I done
that would make her revolt at my sight
making me feel so ill with her cursed stare.

Her last hello I still remember
kind and full of love
it filled me with a warm memory.

Her last good-bye I remember
spiteful and full of hate
it filled me with anguish and confusion.

What a sad existence
to be without something pure
living ain't living if you are alone.

Chromatic Emotion Box

            Turning down the sidewalk at 1:16 p.m., he runs into her head on. He felt her soft features knock into him, for a second they share the same space. a few bags drop from her hands, and his cell phone falls from his. She's knocked back as he stumbles forward, almost tripping over her. Luckily he catches himself against the wall. She looks up at his tall figure, a silhouette against the blue sky until her eyes adjust. Almost six foot, sporting a long coat, his dark hair dangles over her as his lips purse in a bit of surprise and worry.

            "Oh my, I'm so sorry! Let me help you," he kneels down to help her collect herself. "I just looked at the time in my cell phone, and next thing you know... well, I think you..."

            "Yeah, I get the idea." She snaps back.

            "Umm... sorry about that." He's picking up small articles of clothing, but once she notices her hands quickly snatches them along with the bag. Only by her actions does he realize what the small soft items were. "Umm... sorry..." blushing slightly, he passes another bag to her as she's starting to stand up.

            "Thank you... for helping me, not for running into me. Anyhow..." Grabbing the bag with one hand, she starts to swat at her sides, hoping to get any dirt that may have attached off. "You seemed to be in a hurry, knocked me right down on my ass."

            "Yeah, really sorry about that... are you ok?"

            "Sure, nothing that hasn't happened before." She was wearing a loose fitting blue shirt, with patterns of what seemed like constellations all around it. Her ballerina esque shoes fit snuggly around her feet, as they met with tight legged jeans that accentuated her female form all the way up. Open chest, the freckles stood out the most, her blonde hair and blue eyes shimmering in the sun light.

"So whats your name?"

            "I'm sorry, what?"

            "You'r name, just in case I gotta send you a doctor bill." She chuckled, but it seemed to go over his head.

            "Oh, uh... It's Brian."

            "Well Brian, my name is Joana. I tend to make a point of introducing myself to people I've gotten close to." For some reason her jokes did not seem to make a dent on him. He seemed lost in thought.

"Well, listen, I thank you for helping me up... but..."

            "I'm really sorry, I'm just looking for someone, and I'm supposed to meet them around here somewhere. I just can't..." He ran his hand over his head, brushing the hair away from his face. Brian's brown eyes went with his dark features, like chocolate and peanut butter.

            "Well, I'm a local, so maybe I can help you. What place are you looking for?" She placed her left foot in front of her, resting her loaded arms on her hips. This guy seemed lost, and the quicker she got him there, the sooner he'd stop running into people.

            "The Golden Brick House, I was told it was around here. I'm a little early, but I like to be prepared." He rubbed the back of his head, a slight smile appeared on his face. He had kind features, inviting and warm. There was just something about him, it was the way he looked into her eyes. It felt like their souls intermingled for that second.

            "Sure, thats just three blocks over. You were heading the wrong direction though, shoulda' made a left instead of that quick right. You should see a sign to the left from the corner down at 28th. If you want good drinks ask for Gene, get an aborted fetus while your at it, delicious drink." She smirked at the last comment, she always hopes to get a reaction out of people with that bit.

            "Left at 28th, ask for Gene, aborted fetus... Got it. Thank you so much, I don't know how I could ever repay you..."

            "Buy me a drink first next time." She lightly taps him with her bags. "Now go on, you might be late."

            "Thank you! Oh! And sorry!" He waves as he turns around, and continues his quick step.

-----

            Later at her small apartment, she unloads her bags and as she's grabbing a drink a strange noise emanates from her pile of new stuff, a ringing of sorts. She looks through the stack, being the only place that is making noise in the whole apartment. It stops as she's sure she's about to find it. "Damn it!" Fortunately as she finds it laying under some purple ruffled panties it starts to ring again, but as she tries to press the ignore button, accidentally speaker gets turned on. "Damn new phones..." She mutters to herself.

            "Hello?! What was that?" A female voice comes over the loud speaker, Joana sits frozen. "Hey, are you there? I can hear you breathing Brian..." Theres a couple seconds of silence with her just sitting there not knowing what to do, but undoubtedly curious as to where this phone may have come from, she decides to listen and just listen, there's no harm in that. "Whatever... Anyhow, I just wanted to tell you thanks for the beautiful rings you got me, they sure will come in handy. But baby, about tonight... well, I'm not gonna be able to make it. I just kind of was thinking about it, and decided that maybe it's for the best if I don't see you again, anytime soon. See, I just met this guy and... well, it's like we click so well! I knew that we would be good for one another, so we've decided to go traveling together on his motorcycle. I know, it's crazy, but I just feel like this is it, you know? Gotta take this and run with it, see where it goes. I hope you understand, and it's ok if you are mad at me, but I need this. Don't worry about me, I'll be ok. I hope that we can still be friends..." Inaudible screams in the back, a motorcycle revs up. "Ok, well, I gotta go, talk to you soon!" Click.

            "Man, thats heavy..." She holds the cell phone in her hand, kneeling in front of a pile of fresh clothes. "... Fucking buttons." She gets up and walks towards her door, grabbing her purse along the way.

-----

            Walking down the sidewalk she tries to think about whether or not she should tell him about the phone call, or just return the phone without bringing up a word of it. Some things are better left unsaid, although to leave someone waiting for something that will never be there sure seems kind of unfair. "I guess I'll have to tell him." She lights a cigarette she'd pre-rolled for the walk. Her heels click clack against the pavement along with her rhythmic strut, which at times gets drowned out by the passing vehicles, but after a second or so could be heard again, just click clack click clack down the street.

            She remembers how she met Mario, and the hell that ensued because she wasn't honest with herself, or with him for that matter. It was an experience she would never want to repeat, the worse of which was being in the dark about so much for that long of a time. It wasn't until that friend told her to continue on with life and never dilute who she was for the likes of anyone, that she began to understand what it meant to be truly free. Free from the world and the chains trying to get around her that laid also strewn around these arrogant fools, who is just waiting to catch the next lucky girl for a night of undiluted passion, until the next day. Then it's a bunch of words mixed in with who are you, and get out of my house. Being used is never fun.

            Lost in thought she'd passed The Golden Brick House, and was now in the middle of crossing the street as she realized this. She almost stopped herself, but continued to walk to the other side. She stood next to the news stand and picked up a rag mag. One title jumped at her right away, so she read it first. "Sour Girl." It was a poem about some silly blokes short lived love affair. Falling in love, the drama that ensues, and then realizing what a fool he's been all along. It's kind of sweet, though very sexually charged. She catches the light finally turning from the corner of her eye, there are others waiting to let them cross. She momentarily joins the herd as they transverse from one side of the street to the next.

            Coming up to the bar she realizes she's just walked away with the magazine. Oh well, she'll just have to return it later. She may just have to pay for it though, and that is fine.

-----

            Brian is sitting at the end of the bar, holding a beer in one hand, and a couple of shot glasses, some filled with a semi clear liquid. Leaning in to make it through the door, she makes it past the row of stools in front of the bar up to him, where she puts her purse down beside him, the expression on his face is priceless as he looks more than just a little surprised. In her hands are his cell phone and one of the shots from the bar.

            "You dropped this." She holds it in front of her as she slams down the shot. He shifts through his pockets, not finding what he's looking for. "Really, it's yours..." She savors the alcohol with a bitter face. "I can't believe you didn't even notice it was gone. Blergh."

            "Heh... Thanks I guess... Joana?" He grabbed the cell phone from her hand, his finger slightly touching hers. He could feel her skin was silky smooth.

            "Yeah! You remembered... umm..." She winced trying to remember his. She felt like such a klutz. "Brian."

            "Indeed. Would you look at the time... I wasn't even thinking about the time after I had those Aborted Fetus'. Whew... Gene sure knows how to make a drink. Greatest little person bar tender EVER!" He sipped at his beer. She knew exactly what he was talking about, Gene just knew how to read people sometimes. 

            "So, did you ever find what you were looking for here?"

            " Nawh, she never showed up. Don't worry, I'll be fine. I guess she missed me or something."

            "Yeah, about that." She made a gesture of two at the short bartender wearing green sequenced suit. He knew her drink by heart, and had already started one which was just about done. He nodded in agreement to the request of a second drink, and began a new glass.

            "Great place, I love the decor. It's like I'm in Wizard of Oz." He points at the emerald walls, and motions to the golden brick floors. 

            "Yeah, it's a pretty interesting bar, I've had many a nights of fun here." Two drinks are put down in front of her, she grabs them both and hands one to Brian.

            "Thanks..." They both slam them down, and enjoy the creamy sensation that is an aborted fetus, slowly starting to warm up their belly."Missed calls, all from a pay-phone. *sigh* I guess she couldn't make it." He slouches a bit, and sips at his beer.

            "Listen, I accidentally answered one of your phone calls... trying to mute it of course, I didn't mean to pick up, but..." She looked over at him, his expression was now a little quizzical, curious as to what her next words would be. As she stopped herself, she looked over at the bar tender and motioned for 2 more rounds. "Well...

Bob Meets The Beatles - The Meth Minute 39

This made me laugh, so I thought I'd share.

Tomoko's fractal

            Tomoko waited for her train ride. It wasn't usually this late. That last encounter with the Yakuza had left her a bit shaken up. She didn't know what to expect next. All she knew, was that he wasn't here on the platform this evening, as he usually was.

            "Gosh!" she thought to herself. "It was so much easier when he was the business guy reading the paper that never did anything exciting. This whole thing... I just can't take that type of violence."

            Woooshhhhh!

            Train to Chiba Prefecture now boarding.

            This was her. Nothing short of her usual pace, she strode into the car. It took her a minute to get herself situated. It was pretty much empty inside the car, which felt kind of strange. 2 am trains are usually empty though, but it was different without him. These last trains riding the line for the last time, spend an hour stopped, in dead silence. These cold machines, waiting to eat up the inhabitants of the city, chew them up and spit them back out. Some stay in longer than others, that's personal choice though.

            What was it about him that changed the way this train felt? Without anyone else but her, it felt cold and desolate. This ride in particular was one of the most taxing. She couldn't wait to get off at her station. Walk to the little noodle shop, sit at her booth and enjoy a warm bowl of...

            Before she knew it, she'd passed 2 stops already. She wasn't far. Next stop is hers.  A great yawn envelops her, and she is forced to close her eyes for just one second. She dreams with his smell, and his warmth. Even if it's for just a second, it's like she can feel him, right there. With the way he  held her after the attack, she knew the texture of his trench coat, and that of his lapel. She could never forget that scent.

            When she comes to, she is safely seated at the train station. Her train station. She looks around, and sees someone going down the stairs. It's just the backside, but she knows it's him. She gets up and starts to run across the platform, balancing her way along the with her shopping bag and work things filling her hands.

            "Stop!" She yells as she gets to the top of the stairs. There is no one there. Just an empty staircase  She can still smell him on her. She can almost feel his fading warmth on her clothes. She closes her eyes, and imagines his face. What she can still remember.

            One step follows the next. She makes her way down the dim lit path, just as many times before this, and many more to come. Posters on the wall of movies long past, are falling off, while others are constantly covered by the next big thing. Her footsteps reverberate against the walls, a light buzzing from the electric lines and neon lights above can be heard. Random signs are still lit. Karaoke bars, and Love MO's (motels) are always open.

            Her booth is available, as always. Kindly, the old lady that hosts the place shows her to her booth. It hasn't occurred to her to ask her if she ever gets some rest, it's as if she's always here, working.

            Noodles, they always warm her up. This texture is the best part, the way they  just slither into your mouth. So soft, so sweet, and the contrast with the sour broth tonight was just delightful. Best noodles in town. Shes buzzing just with the first taste. She enjoys it to the last drop. Slurping to the very end.

            After her meal, she sits there, and wonders about the man and his fancy trench coat. Why would he just leave her there like that, without a hello, or a good-bye. After all that had happened. She just wanted to know he was alright. His boss seemed kind of upset at the outburst, and said there would be consequences to be paid. There's only so much one can do.

            The warm tea gives off a bit of steam as she brings the porcelain cup to her lips. She slightly squints from the warmth, as it slowly slips between her lips, warming her up insides. Her reflection on the polished wooden table is a bit warped from the woods formation itself. She sips again, wondering what the symbol was hanging off his lapel.

It is free will

If I could go

I would

Do I have to be here?

Momentarily.

Could I be anywhere?

Yes, I could.

Is she waiting for me?

No one waits,

life moves much

too

fast.

Can there be a change

in the actions

of those who seem to be

the futile

proverbial machines

fighting

that upward battle

just pushing at that rock?

Only those who seek change

tend to find it.

There is no reason

to completely loose

yourself in the makings

and the fallacies

that this earthly place

offers with smiles and
a back hand

hidden in the shadows.

Games are for children,

though I'm a proverbial child

in my heart and yours.

I will not become locked

trying to get so far away

that I'm stuck in my own

head.

I will not become locked

trying to turn heads when

true love cannot be taken

away from you.

What is yours,

is yours.

and nothing,

anyone,

can take that away.

When you've got no reason,

to forge something within you

that will make the earth saner

easier to handle and understand

Know that

When you truly love something,

you may give it away,

then you will know,

what is true.

I could care for you,

love you with all my being,

because it was born of me

because it was made from me.

You could love me,

with all of your being,

because it was born from you.

Free will is a bitch,

only because it's

misled

by fear

and forgotten scars

that ache when

something beautiful

is about to happen.

It is the only way though,

that you will know

that someone,

true and fit,

will openly choose your love

to share for as long

and as happily

as humanly possible.

Unafraid of what may happen

as beautiful and strange things

always tend to happen

when two people meant to be

are finally together.

It creates echoes

waves

moving a million miles an hour

into the heart

of the sun.

Keeping us warm.

Changing things around them,

shifting them just a bit

enough for them to glow

to reverberate

that Love.

This is when you know.

Because free will,

it's such a bitch.

Feeding into your fear,

and tearing you

apart.

Sometimes

you just have to act.

Like walking up to her,

and calling her name.

She turns around,

it seems like forever.

Then,

as your eyes meet,

she smiles

you smile.

Moving in,

it feels so right.

The fear is gone,

theres only

warmth.

You lean in,

she leans in.

Eyes slowly close.

Breaths collide,

it tickles their cheeks.

Like the burst of a million suns

her kiss is so perfectly bright,

it's like we've been

kissing each other

for years.

Right here.

Right now.

This is what overcoming fear,

can do for you.

Knowing the true kiss,

of a lover who

will return if meant to be.

This is also Free Will.

Untouched by fear.

It creates beautiful things,

makes the sun brighter.

Next time you look within,

know that

those aching muscles

can all be healed.

All of your worries

woes,

and sadness.

can be turned around.

There is nothing

which can't be changed

by the truest of expressions

humans share.