American Pornographica Xmas

This unconcern of people wanting to know/seek the truth, and willingness to fall into a monotonous social structure, disturbs me. 

I am fully aware of your disposition, and willingness to ostracize those who do not fit in with your norms. Pointing and staring, wondering what their mother may think of the distasteful actions they now engage in. To you, just another dissident who thinks they can change the world, drugged up and tuned out.

Meanwhile, you are lost in your own trip, your own mental game of who runs the world. A hyper dome of injustice and trampling rips through the world. You only really care about one thing anyway... your wallet bursts fat, and the veins run deep with poison, oh the life of the vain.

Observing and interacting in a socially aware mindset has left my energy drained, with your lies and false idols, dances for the mascaraed in this so called life little is left for truth, love, and happiness. 

We were dead when we were born.

We laid dead when we were burned.

Fun is dead.

Love is dead.

Peace is dead.

Choice is dead.

Unique moments which once differentiated the day from night have been white washed by your indecisions and lack of spirit. You only care about one thing now, when once all you thought about was the sunrise, and the feel of the wind passing through your hair. Love has become a fleeting thought. All you ever really cared about was one thing... your veins ache, your wallets spill out with the prick of the needle... Oh the curse of the vain.

All Hail the Mighty Dollar!

Freedom is chained up at your doorstep, and you don't even see it.

All Hail the Mighty Dollar!

Give up everything for your trusted side gun, kill another infidel with your hand pistol pointed at their skull, the image replays over and over on CNN and other major news networks. You are a great hero now, your name should go up on the red wall.


Spill my love all over with my fun in your mouth, words shooting out of my gun a mile a minute, heading for your palette, next stop is lodged deep within your brain, next to the memory of our first kiss. "All I want is to see someone I respect without their clothes,"* her hair spread out over my sleeping bag, keeping each others warmth inside a tent, within the woods of our psyches we give in to our animal lust. Our vain egos ache for my prick to penetrate you, my heroin seeps into your every crevice as the stars light your eyes, and we fall asleep in each others arms, aching for the morning sun to melt us yet again so we may start a new.

Fun is dead.

Love is dead.

Peace is dead.

Choice is dead.

We are all born dead, brought to life by breath. Until we choose to die, to stop living for ourselves. Choices made, lead to roads of destruction and war. Lives lost to the mine bombs in your mind, placed there by your mommy and daddy, school teachers, preachers, and televised opium. You kill them off without remorse.


BOOM!


Their gone. they never fit in anyway, they were born disposable to you. Their digressions from your righteous upbringing made them nothing but a hindrance. A hindrance to your salvation. With them gone, getting to heaven wont be an issue. Go home, theres a message on the phone.

"It's John, I just thought I'd call... I know we haven't talked for a while, and... well... Sherley died last night... she O.D.'d on her prescription pills. By the time I found her in the tub with... it was too late... I didn't know she had so many stashed away like that..."

Delete the message, hang up, they are drug addicts, people who would steal and destroy all in order to get what they want. A fix. Or at least thats what you've been told all along by your preacher... by your social norms, to stay away from them. Meanwhile, you hang up on a friend who needed someone to talk to... Before he pulled the trigger.

Merry Xmas America.

[*Lyric by Say Anything]

Dimples

Thing is that I hate you
Thing is that you hate me
Thing is that I forgave you
Thing is that you forgot me.
Thing is that I missed you
Thing is that you dissed me.
Thing is that they conned you
Thing is that I read him like a book.
And it scared him,
he made you push me away.

I had imagined you could see through
the lies and the facades that the drones put up
but even that itself was just another lie
that you fed me.

I had imagined you could awaken something
something beyond the grave
inside the mind and spirit.
Also, that was a lie.

Instead, I only feel disgraced.
Instead, I only feel disgust.
That you shared yourself with me
who had shared themselves with none.
That I had shared myself with you
who had shared themselves with lots.

I the unknowledgeable being
you the giver of wisdom
I still am thankful for this
but feel like it could have been different.
At least I wish I would have known
not to get attached to you
before everything went down
and I went down on you.

I have a bucket full of thoughts

Because it took me a long time, to get back on the train.

Your X-Mas Gift, oh readers...

Is ready and wrapped, set to post on the 24th. I hope you like it.

: - D

The human robots awaken every morning. Their tasks have been programed, in order for more efficient calculations and productivity. Another day in the Megalopolis. They follow in line, through traffic lights dessigned to test their patience, and over load their circuits. Sometimes, the machine will brake, and so will the computer. In comparison to the rest, some of us are broken, or at least malfunctioning. We do not give into commands, we act as autonomous beings, bringing our reality forth. We are, and that scares them. We are, and that makes people wonder what it is that we have that they don't, which makes us so unique. Some may say, insanity.

With our minds warped around the dissilusionment of the world, we try and make the best of it. We walk through a path, much different than the human robot. Be it with drugs, or meditation, or some sort of overwhelming mental power, we have changed our reality. From the facade that has been fed to us as small children, into the reality that stands before us. A world caving into itself, a universe that is hollow, and cold. We travel in this space ship earth, through the void. We fall, forever, when shall we see the end? In the past, people always say the end is right here, the end is right... here... but it is not. This planet will go on for a long time, even after humans are long dead. Nothing makes us so special, that the earth would die with us. After all, we are just a cancer.

Some people really give into their role, and tear open the earths surface, in order to extract it's precious metals. Precious, just another word created by man, in order to give itself an excuse. Some people destroy, and some let themselves be destroyed. Others follow blindly into the emptyness of the future, and hope that their signs will make a difference in the world. Nothing is going to change what some have planed, the truth is that unless you wake up, and prepare yourself, no one is coming to save you. You are just another face, another body in the crowd. Who cares about you, but yourself?

I am a nihilist. I don't care much about anything, and I don't mind the destruction that is to come. Because the blind wont see it coming, and the awoken ones will only try to resist a little bit. Maybe if more people were aware, then I might give two shits, but like zombies, even some of those who claim to be "awake," give into their television fed education. They buy buy buy, and want everything oh so pretty. They drive their SUV's, and shop like theres nothing wrong with spending 100 dollars on a shirt. They make me sick. You think you are awake? You are just a ZOMBIE.

If it was ultimately up to me, I'd let it all happen. People have become so dumb, so over saturated with bullshit, that it's time. LET THEM EAT CAKE. If the government thinks they can keep a lid on it, and control the mess, they are sadly mystaken. There are many out there, who think as I do, and we are not going to join some extreme right wing, or some extreme left. Because we don't believe in your bullshit. We are here, we live, and we will survive. We are the next generation of Humanity, and you have already spoiled your own dinner plans, ours are still going strong.

There is no reason to think that things will go badly. Or that they wont. It really hangs in the ballance right now. If they do, don't expect anything nice. If they don't, expect nothing either. It's just the way it is. Maniquins, people are all maniquins. Unless they give you proof of their humanity, you should not trust them, you should not keep near them. When you notice that they care more about their outward appearance than they do their mental stability, and they are deeply connected, concider running. When you feel "I think this person might be off their rocker," you may want to run. When you realize that there is something deeply wrong with that person, and there is nothing you can do but run, hang out for a minute, and see just how fucked up they are. Why? Because, you need to know what is out there, who is it that controls the world. It's people like this who sell salvation.

Study them, spend time with them. The half crazies don't count, you must spend time with someone truly insane. Someone who has decided to stop their meds, someone who is not alright. Someone who believes anything they read, and see. You need to be aware, be on your toes. You cannot let them keep you, and control you. Explore their mind with a fine picked comb. Chances are, you wont want to be near someone like this again, but for the time being, you'll need the experience in order to keep them past arms length, away from you.

So what will you do? Will you give into the world? Will you fight? Will you just sit back and watch it all destroy itself? All and neither. Don't ever take your life for granted, and that of those who are real. Be glad you have a chance to ponder these things, and you are not worried about what to wear tomorrow, and how you'll look hotter in this or that. About how cute this is, or that isn't. Trivial matters are trivial, and should be left as such. 

Long Live Discordia.

Hey...

"A shudder comes o'er me-
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well;-
Long, long shall I rue thee,
Too deeply to tell."*
*-When we two parted; Lord Byron

Tricksters and jokers

A first kiss is all you need to awaken the beast.

Tristes apariciones

Don't ask what you can do for the world, for the world is lost in itself. Don't ask what the world can do for you, for the world is lost in itself.

It's not about the love anymore.

It's not about the war.

It's not about the forgotten.

It's not about the ones we keep.

It's about you and me.

And a million stars in the heavens burst out suddenly lighting up a starless night.

Like the kiss of a troubadours lips that leave you aching for more

You will remember me for always.

It's nice to know that my cats will always love me. As long as I keep feeding them.

Post 100

Today I woke up with a hang over.
Yesterday I swore in the American flag.
Earlier in the week a minister asked me to take out the trash.
A few months ago I realized I wasn't alone.
Over 6 months ago I felt one of the greatest let downs ever.
7 Months ago I was part of an amazing music festival, Orange Blossom Jamboree.
9 Months ago I was in Love.
10 Months ago I started to fall for someone I found extremely amazing.
11 Months ago I was with someone who didn't want to be with me, but didn't mind fucking.
12 Months ago I met Ssica, and in one night she changed my world, never to be seen again.

It's all been a crazy ride on this blog so far. When I left Myspace I had about 9,000 views, and averaged about 30 viewers a month. Sadly this was over the span of about 8 years, and my writing then wasn't even formed, twas just blocks of text of me bitching about something or other. This time around (must be the different medium) I'm averaging about 100 viewers a month, and since September 9th, over 500 people have come to visit and read what is within these pages.

Thank you.

Heres to hundreds of more posts, to more deliberate explosions of emotion, and the exploration of the human spirit. To Marie, and all of the people who inspire me to seek truth in the world. I really do love ya!

who_leo

Late night thoughts after a coconut ice cream bar

I did something very unbecoming of me. I went to speak with a Lutheran Minister the other day. Well, I wanted to talk to someone who I could relate to in a basic manner, mostly on that of moral standing. Most interesting part of the conversation was just being able to hear myself say certain things which had been just kept inside, internalized. It wasn't a good place for them, nor for my own psyche to be dealing with them in that manner. Loosing what I strode for was certainly not the best thing for me, I lost sight of what my future should be and are now in a position where I find myself malleable to ideas.

I still have my dreams, and they will come to bear fruit soon enough with hard work, I'm sure this is a very possible thing. I certainly hope it could move along quicker, but being just one of those situations that take time certainly it cannot be rushed.

Something else was reassured to me, that one should not feel bad for those who cannot be helped. If they wanted help, then they wouldn't have done the things they did, though addicts always tend to send mixed messages, it's easier to just take everything with a grain of salt. Something about being able to let go though, gives me peace of mind. After all, it is most certainly important that I get myself through this, rather than to try and help anyone else before hand.

Still though, I will always love those people, and hold their memory very dear to my heart; though certainly, they must be kept at arms length if not greater distances. They aren't meant to be near, for as their self destructive nature cyclones around them it sucks whats near into a nucleus of most heinous destruction, nothing stands a chance.

After all, hanging around with individuals who are just bad people, no matter what your intentions are, is just bad news.

With that, I leave off for now.

My head is up in the clouds

These past few weeks I've had a lot on my mind. One thing in particular has bothered me quite a bit. Thing is that after I've spent years, and I mean YEARS, talking to my friends about not doing prescription medicines as a form of "getting high," I am now prescribed to them. It's weird how the world works. Nothing else eases the pain though, what else am I supposed to do? Pot is not legal where I live, hence I am unable to acquire it. Only thing that is left for me to do is to take those little white pills, and wait for the pain to subside.

I've lost my footing. I was doing real well there for a while, being the person which people came to to talk about getting off the stuff, and how to live without it. Now, it's not so easy to face them and tell them that I am officially consuming these substances as well. Granted, I have a doctors note, and a legitimate reason to take them, but I still feel like there is no more liability on what I say.

I can say this, that I still don't want to see any of the people whom I care for get involved with these drugs, I don't want to be on them either. They make me sleepy, dopey, and numb out more than just my aching back. My mind has suffered, my social interaction has suffered even more because of it. It has made me into a zombie of sorts. I hate it.

Now I wait for a series of surgeries which will hopefully return me to a more mobile state, able to work and fend for myself, I'll finally be able to get out of moms house... again. Really shitty part is that I came here to keep her company about 2 years ago, then the accident happened, and a short stay has turned into an undetermined amount of time. Without being able to work for this time, I've managed to rack up some bills, and lost some people. But what am I gonna do? That is life, and I guess I must live it the way it was dealt to me. Still, no reason to not want more out of it. I do want to do a lot of things still, like see Ireland, England, visit my friend in Japan... All of these things, I must keep in mind. Something to live for. I lost that for a minute there, and it was scary.

w_l

Art dies, art lives.

My laptop has crashed. It will not turn on. It is officially DEAD.

5 years plus of writing, journals, and just random stuff all gone. I stopped using it so much, hence why I haven't been writing like I should in here, but the other day I went to turn it on and... nothing. Not even a boot screen, just darkness.

Well, the last time I made a back up was like 6 months ago, or sometime before all of this medical shit started. Somewhere around there. So much happened, though I wonder if it's just better that these memories/proofs of life then are gone now. Might be much better off this way.

Life and Death

I had a thought today:


As a hopeless romantic, when I die it will be much like the way I came into this world.

At night.

Alone.

All due to a series of unfortunate events, stemming from a womans love.


And it's alright.

Mitigation in my mind

Days like today, nothing matters.

I feel dead, tired, over worked.

Yet, nothing has happened.

Nothing, again.

If one expects change, one should create it. Right?

Every time I deal with the world,

The world bites back.

Every time I deal with people,

I see the ugly faces pop up again and again.

Addiction,

Sexual,

Or chemical,

It's all the same really.

A need for people to forget.

I keep running into these two demons,

Over and over again.

All I want is some peace of mind,

Knowing that you wont walk away

To get high on dope

Or be with someone else.

Just be there

As I would for you.

But no

It's never like that.

There are always preconceptions

Of notions meant to alleviate your "pain."

Don't you know though,

That through your actions

You end up hurting everyone around you?

Here I am,

Another day with nothing to do.

I'm a little glad,

Somewhat sad,

But still I'm here

And there is nothing pulling me down

Except me.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Respect

Where has it gone? Who has it anymore? I for one do not understand where I went wrong, or if I event went wrong at all.

Get a call from a girl, whom I fancy, and she wants to hang out! I'm like "swell, of course I'll hang out!" So she meets me at her friends house, where I meet some pretty ok people. From there, we chat, we all go through our motions and our arbitrary conversations where we get to know one another. Things seem very well.

Suddenly, a group of people show up delivering the blues... not the music, but the substance that South Florida seems to be so infatuated with. She changes. She starts talking to their driver, and begins to ask me if I can score some pot for her. Sure, I say. I try, but come up dry. "Oh, I have some at home, we can just go pick it up real quick..." He says.

About an hour passes. A twenty minute thing has turned into much longer. I don't know what to think, I'm tired of just chatting it up with people whom I don't know. I'm done. I pick up my shit, and leave.

She wanted to spend the night, so she says. She wanted to hang out and talk, so she says. Then why leave me with a group of total strangers as you go off ridding with some schmuck. I don't get it. No respect, as a great comedian once put it. No fucking respect.

Don't tell me you want to hang out, then leave me to go "chill" with someone else. Don't tell me you wanted to be with me, when you leave me for some guy who just turned up. What am I, chopped liver? I just don't get it.

There is no respect left, there is no real understanding of people left. It's only garbage, or so it seems. Bob Dylan once said something along the lines of send me someone who is not a fucked up person, and I will give my life to you. How right he is, to this day.

What happened to respect.

I saw you last night

Again with this. Stay out of my dreams. How is it you manage to get in there. I don't even want you there, I don't even think you belong there. My own body wakes up after feeling you crawling through my head.

Thank you.

Late night thoughts after a night of drinking.

Tonight I was hanging out with some good friends, had a really good time. Had a chance to see life from a different perspective, and it was good. Yeah, thats kind of cookie cutter, but hell... if I told you everything then there wouldn't be any mystery!

I did learn something tonight though, and that is to not let things get to you. Because no matter what happens, there is always something different going on.

I shouldn't let stupid medial bullshit get to me as much as I do. It's silly, really. Something I can always count on is the fact that life will change, no matter what. I wish things could have been different in the past, but these things happened for a reason. Whether it was to teach me or them, they happened. It's just learning to let them be that is the hard part.

Life is wacky, and there is nothing that one can do about it.


I hope soon I'll have something more to write about. I've been thinking about the things that go in the world around me, and I want to write about them. I will, whether it's one thing or another, I will. Because our world is a strange place, and very strange things happen. This is why I wanted to be a journalist anyhow, to explore the world around me and make a note of it, in order of future generations to understand and exploit, so that they may know what the world is like, and know what to do and not to do.

On that note, I leave you.

Slow month is slow

It's been a slow month. Guess video games have been taking up a lot of my time. Theres nothing else to do at the moment, I think I may have already talked about this on here, but whatever.

My desktop has a bunch of alt art pictures that are always rotating, I kind of wish I could be as awesome at drawing as these people seem to be. I can't even draw stick figures right.

If you want to know more about Alt-Art, click HERE

Today I felt like I had failed you, failed me.

Today I felt like I had failed you, failed me.

It's ok though, things happen the way they do for a reason. People are easily manipulated, and do the things they do. I was always true to my word, and that much gives me the peace of mind that I need.

Still though, I feel like I failed you.

Because I wanted to save you, and it never occured to me that you didn't want to be saved. That you were happy with the needle in your vein. How vain of me to think that I could change your mind.

Still though, I feel like I failed me.

Because I wanted to keep something for myself, that was beyond grasp and beyond understanding. There were moments that we spent that I will never forget, like laying naked in your bed holding one another.

Still though, I feel like I failed.

Because it's not easy to forget you, and as hard as I try, you always come back to haunt my thoughts, when I am reminded of all the addicts I've known, I just don't understand how I didn't see it in your eyes sooner.

Still though...

Cellophane Skin

Curtains drawn,
but it's all the same,
when you look
into a burlesque anyway.

Don't make a sound,
it's time for a round
of my favorite cognac
which we sip so quietly.

With
and without
the thunder of night,
dwindling fright
seeps from their eyes.

Come take a walk through
a new comers door.
See the blazing frame
wrap up what is left
of what once was humane.

Complicated

Her curly hair washed over her face casting the silhouette of her nose, a cute angle to say the least. A smile tainted by the drugs and other chemicals that her friends liked to feed her would often slip into our conversations, as an array of ideas we exposed slowly came to light, all in the darkness of the back seat of the car. Cuddled up next to each other, feeling the resonance of the others voice deep within, the conversation lingered on. Sometime during the night, the rain began to fall. Clink Clank on the steel rooftop, it made little difference to the two. Eyes melting into each other, it was aviation of the mind. Lips often do such beautiful things, spelling out words of awe and wonder for the eye to see and an ear to listen, all meanwhile they speak their own language as they swell and redden with the pulsing of their hearts. Another night, spent awake and without sleep. It's ok though, they'll have all the time to rest when they are dead. For now, it is this time, the few moments they have with one another in a car, a bar, or some darkened room that matter. It is theirs to hold and enjoy. Time slips by, and without a second notice those they care for have moved on. It is now, here, that their insatiable thirst for one another is temporarily quenched. For the few minutes they spend makes up for a lifetime without the other.

If only she had seen it the same way. If only the drugs hadn't rotted her mind away. Would it even matter now? Time clears all, sometimes even memories. Emotions are washed away from hearts by the tides of experience, just the same our faces become older and weathered, wrinkles in time.

What would you say now?

Their smiles light up the world for them, somehow they know that there is hope left after meeting one another. These short moments meant the whole world once, thought now they are only kept in tiny crevices, it is theirs to cherish for as long as they allow themselves to remember that it was true, and nothing will ever change that.

Just another day

It's been a few days since I wrote. Been busy playing video games and reading, it's the only things that really keep me entertained right now. Not much else is do able, so whatever. Been meeting lots of cool people online, and it's nice to know that others out there are just as geeky, if not more, about it. Either way, I'm glad. Maybe I'll write something later, maybe not. I think it's nice to take a brake from anything and everything every once in a while.

Voting - another weekly rant for B.S.R.

What is it with people not voting, then starting to bark up a storm once the government does something that we don't like? Well, if you haven't voted, you can just shut your pretty little mouths up, and bite the bullet. Without a voice, you are nothing, and voting is your voice when it comes to how this country works. Recently we just had California totally pass on the 100% legalization of Marijuana via Prop 19. REALLY? We've been trying to rectify this mistake for almost a century now (give or take a few decades), but to no avail. Then, when it ends up in the ballots it's not passed. Why? Because there is a bunch of pusillanimous individuals who like to woof at the chance of discussion, but when it comes down to it they aren't prepared to rise up to the occasion in order to enact change.

You know who you are, you non conformists, anti government types. Sure, there is a lot of stupid shit going on in our country, why not fix it? Why not get off your lazy ass and go do something about it. Bitch bitch bitch... and no action. "We want to bring the government down! ANARCHY FOREVER!" You are idiots. Do you really think that will happen? We are in too deep to just give up. Sure, we need Change as the Obama administration said, but it's not possible if you expect for it to happen out of the blue. You all need to go to the polls, write to your congressman, go visit your local government places and tell them what you think. You will be amazed at the responses you get, as most of them actually want to hear what you have to say, after all you are the voters that put them there.

Do you understand?

Now, the question of massive corruption comes up. Yes, it is there and it is rampant. Much the way that a government official takes the money from the peoples hands in order to buy themselves a new yacht so does the health aid worker in a 3rd world country use their connections at work in order to get their hands on hard prescription drugs that are unavailable to them state side. This is truth, and it is something that you should know. Best thing we can do about it is study the past of those people who we wish to put in office, and make an informed decision. It's not about who has the most posters (you fucking litterbugs), or who has the best commercials, it's about their career decisions and what they have voted on in the past. Sure, it takes some homework that your lazy asses don't want to do, but isn't the future and well fare of our country, our children, it's most certainly worth the hour plus that it might take to research these things online.

So I don't want to hear people bitch, especially those who chose not to vote because their vote "didn't matter." You are just letting the elite make all the decisions by doing this, the old timers, the people who although are full of very important and worthwhile information, are out dated and not with the times. Our generations, the young un's, we know what is up and what is going down. If only we could pay more attention to real news, not the crap that is shoveled on national television, and what our government is doing, WE WOULD BE THE CHANGE IN THE WORLD THAT IS NEEDED.

So don't listen to your friends who say "voting is stupid, why even bother..." Well, how is the government supposed to know that we aren't happy if we don't show it to them the only way that they know how to listen, through our vote. Sure, we can go march, and it helps... but without the votes, it is pointless. We fought to give blacks and women the right to vote, it is that important. Wont you make your own informed decisions and show them that we care not just about ourselves but each other. After all, we are in this together. Your anarcho dimwit friends aren't really out to help you or the rest of the people, neither are most of the people in government, and that is why we must voice our opinions, not shut up and talk in dark rooms about possibilities and should have beens. The time for change is here, and it is now. I just hope next time more people get to the ballots and make the right decisions, not just for themselves, but for the rest of their brethren.

Your's truly,
who_leo
aka Fat-J

Letters from Dumbo

I don't want to say or write anything because I don't want to give you the pleasure of knowing that I feel like complete shit. Not because of anything in particular. I just do. My whole situation is a bit much to handle for me alone, and the only thing that I can hope to do one day is to lay in a wooden box where I wont bother anyone anymore. Ultimately, this is golden for me. My pain, physical and emotional will all go away, to not bother me or anyone else. Wouldn't this be grand?

I think so.

I'm sad because I thought that I would do something amazing, or at least be part of something grand. Now, I'm just as good as dead. I've wasted my life with useless satisfaction. Turned my own self into the worst enemy I've ever had. Oh, and how I pay for it. Maybe this will even raise a smile from your lips.

These cats are the only ones who love me unconditionally, and that kills me inside. Knowing I had you once, and now you are gone to never be seen or experienced by me again. You, the woman of a thousand faces, with a million smiles and three thousand reasons to stay away from me. If only I had known better than to get anywhere near you, at least it'd only be me who I'd hurt and blaspheme against. Still it wouldn't change the fact of what I deserve.

Intro to destruction

Contenders in a race

we all loose trace

of the eminent faze

through which we'll raise

our spirits high

when the time is nigh

when the time is...

I've lost my rhyme

my battle spirit.

I've let it froth over

and burn away in the fire

of forgetfulness

and indecision.

Complete with an automaton

set to explode

we make our way into the void.

It's like you said

nothing ever really lasts

the only thing that we hold true

is deep within ourselves

and only we know it.

That is the only thing

that keeps us

from becoming like them.

Machines

Machina

made to eradicate

to medicate

to constipate the world

with meaningless worry

and confined thoughts

all here to keep your eyes closed.

It was like you said,

A dream that love would stay

and keep the cold night at bay.

Intrinsic kisses melt onto your skin

at least thats how I remember

the way we used to be.

Trinkets in her hair

With sinister repose
the voices all have stopped
chanting, wanting,
to come out and expose

Her feelings
they make her crazy.
Because she opt's to love
the one who pushes daisy's

It's ok though
it's all been taken care of
by the wheeling and dealing
of her peers

Of ideas and emotions
that she should feel.
Compilations of memories
erased to keep her heels

Grounded in a pasture
by the green hills
where she can show off
her new skin

But I know who it is
what it is
and how much it is
and though I love you

I'm not willing to pay
the price of my sanity
in order to spend
blissful mornings in mourning

Due to your leopard pillbox head
with your loose moments
and tight ends
it's no surprise your lips carry death.

Distress is all the same
when it's you who carries my name
lips parted and embalmed
the bodies make amends

The soul though,
it's dead
and the love,
past it's expiration date.

Cali votes no on 19

No on 19 from California. Really?

What happened ya'll? Where you just TOO STONED to go vote or something? WTF!?!?!?

We still live in prohibition, and unjustly so. Undoubtedly the propaganda machine may have won this time around, but sooner or later we are bound to wake up from the fallacies beaten into us. Still though, to say that it was on the ballot says a lot. Next year California, next year.

Until then.

who_leo

Ode to Toofy

When I get home you are waiting
as I walk through the door it's you I see
you come up to me
and rub yourself all over
only to let me know you missed me.

You follow me through the apartment
making sure I find everything I need
you curiously make assessments of how I feel
by the way that I thread through my day
and yet you always manage
even on my darkest of moods
to peep a smile out of my blue way.

I appreciate your kindness
your love and your care
though I know that it will be short lived
for even though a cat has 9 lives
it only lasts twenty years.

Truth, so simple and beautiful... cuts so deep, bruises that wont heal

When you deal in truth, you are dealing with something that a lot of people do not want to hear, or experience for that matter. Most importantly, people who aren't familiar with truth will often recoil and turn away. Why? Well, it's like sun to vampires, or silver to werewolves... Truth simply hurts them. It can also backfire, and this is something that one must be prepared for as well. Solace must remain with you, oh truth bringer, and that's the fact that truth will prevail. Through all of the muck and lies that people try to feed you, the truth you will know as is, and nothing more for there are no facades in truth only faces, no personas just people. Having prepared myself for this, I know that there are those who already know me as someone who speaks truth, and is not afraid to do so. To those people I say, you will fail miserably at the hands of your own demons, the lies you've so carefully built up for yourselves will crumble and drown you in the end. Nothing good ever comes from being a liar, not in the long run anyhow, certainly I hope your instant gratification was good enough for the karmic repercussion you've brought upon yourselves.

So I dare say, and this I mean to one specific person, one man whose lies lay beyond anything I care to comprehend. You have been marked, and your lies will follow you forever, until you finally find rest in your cold grave.

Trip to a third world country

It's capricious of me
to think that life moves on
without giving a second thought
to the things we have lived and done.

So you tell me,
would you be able to sleep at night
even though your conscience weighs down
your pillow so hard
that you might as well sleep without one?

For it's your own doing
of choosing and brewing
these feeling of exasperation
towards the lights and flickers
of society's plight.

So wither
and hither forth
towards your new beginning
at some far off port
where your emotions all get sucked
into the black hole in your soul
and you forget the eyes of the bored.

Letters to Debora

Sometimes in the morning, when I find myself thinking of you, I simply try to remember the snide comments, the way you talked down to me, and the people you hung out with. Suddenly, I feel a lot better about not knowing you, and being able to live free from it all.

I still miss your kiss though.

Waking up with a cramped neck

I woke up this morning

with a bite mark on my neck

it's as if a vampire sucked my blood

and fed off the rich amber plasma

pumping through my veins.

I am distraught

though not surprised

for blood suckers

theres lots of them hiding about

and usually easy to spot

unless you are blind

and unbeknown to their dance.

I don't know where this one came from

or how it came to be perched upon my neck

it's not as if I haven't had to host

one or two parasitic worms in the past

but this time I didn't even know

I was feeding the fires of their desire

by letting my heart pump with blind rage

at the disfiguring games they admire.

Now one wonders

how to dispatch this succubus

from draining life

and keeping the myriad of dreams

from surfacing through to be writ.

It's as if everything is stunted

when theres not a reason to be trumped

by the freedoms and the thoughts

that life ought to be on point.

These blood suckers though

they sure know how to hang on

and drain every drop of repose

that you have saved for yourself.

Shortly after a questionnaire

Walking down the isle
like a sly cat on the prowl
I'm heading towards the place
where they lend out relief
in white bottled pills.

There he is
out of nowhere the one
who took away calm
and peace of mind
stole the wind from my wings
it's ok because today I notice
that his smile isn't free though
it aches of the things he's said
weighs heavy with guilt.

I'm still moved
in one way or another
not by him
but what he's now come
to stand for, after all
he's just another coward
hiding from the shades of
yesteryear.

It is her
who I wish would just realize
that there was nothing to pick
or emphasize about our quirks
which could have led us to where
we are. Nothing at all
could have made us
turn like we did unless it was fed
through our ears
by some sociopathic creep.

We were his dolls
and he's had his fun
watching us dance away
from something we knew would last.
I ought to call you a hypocrite
but the one you cheated was yourself
by listening to his lies. It is sad
that you hurt us both from the start
by Heathing to the words of vigilant Usopp.

Pretty Little Princes

Pretty little princes wants a gun
pretty little princes wins the throne
with a bang bang here
and a bang bang there
her dispositions are scattered everywhere
like the blood of the king
and the guts of the queen
when they said "no little girl,
you wont have any more."

Pretty little princes warms her gun
pretty little princes had some fun
little did they know that her games oft drew
the wretched wicked souls of sinister ploys
willing to dispatch in order to fuck
the princes of their dreams
on the dresser
by the floor.

Pretty little princes wants them all
pretty little princes kills the pawns
with a cake full of poison
and drinks full of drugs
so they die with their hard-ons
and their panties in a bunch.

Pretty little princes asks the pope
with pretty little pleases forgiveness sought
in the end we all pray
and we beg to be saved
now it's her on her knees
as the priest smiles with ease
lips tight 'round his prick
and pockets full of lyre
he lies as he says "salvation is here."

Pretty little princes plays her games
pretty little princes crowned by his holiness
made the queen that she dreamed
that she would and could be
all for the moments
she believed would seem real
which ultimately slipped away
like needles through veneer
into veins lost for years
under her elaborate garbs
where the scars can't be seen.

Pretty little princes is all grown up
and as you would have it known
She is now our queen
as she smiles her pearl smile
and as she dances with her sires
one of them slips her a kiss
and steals the one thing he desires
behind closed doors
sheets crumpled and tossed
he says "I love you"
she replies
"you must be nuts."

So she wears him out
and he covers her so
hoping to draw out
the commodores son
"that young man with the tan
and the eyes of a wolf
let him come to me now"
she is oft heard herself in thought.

One night she commands
that he stay in her lands
and so they must do
if they are in love with their lives.
She invites him for drinks
on a veranda under the stars
and sip after sip
they begin to loose charge of their pedigree
soon like dogs they attack
each others necks as if wild
in their passion and lust
as he mounts her she smiles
thus she looses her mind
as his seed sought and wrought forth
the able son she'll admire
and spoil and teach
until he himself is a sire.

Pretty little prince likes his throne
Pretty little prince wants to have some fun.
Now let's just see if mother buys him a gun.

In the last days

I'm in a lot of pain. I'm going through hell. This is what you wanted to avoid when you said you couldn't be near me, I get you. Though I do wish, that you'd sticked around. Would have had someone to talk to, converse with and that would have meant the world to me. You know, the reason why I wanted you then was because I knew this was coming. A time when I would be immobile, for a long time, and in pain, constantly. Was it so wrong to want someone then? So wrong to need someone to share love with for the last time? All I was asking for was the chance to love you, to show you something I wouldn't be able to show anyone for a long time, if again. That I could love you, that I could hold you and make us come together. Now, I am powerless, weakened by the ravages of not just time, but also this life I lead. My back is twisted and torn, and I will never be able to be that man I once was. Never able to go into the wild, out into the edge of reality. I am here, and will be forever. In my pain, in my 2D kingdom, as you live life in 3D. If I regret something, it was letting you go to him so easily. If I regret something, it was loosing you too soon. Now I'm here, alone, cold, without human touch, in chronic loss of thought, doped up, giving up.

Links are all broken

Life has taken a turn
one which I do not agree with
they will cut deeper
I will have to take their seeds
and sprout trees of addiction
when I'm the weakest and most unavailable
when I am in need of something else


All along I needed some one alongside
to at least hear me out
and tell me it is going to be ok
when my own hope dwindles
and reality sets in so hard
that it finishes breaking my back.


Reality is
there wont be anyone.
Fact is
we are born alone
and we die alone
and what happens in the middle
we are really just lucky for.

Sleep

Still you've made your way
deep into the crevices of my dreams
all while I'm asleep and without conscience
I don't even know how to explain why.


There were times I felt like you read my mind
that I did things you wanted without parting your lips
and now here you are again
in my head
in my sleep
conversing.

Blank

Bad news suck.

Not living because of it sucks more.

Imminent retirement.

Everything is over.

Johny Cash - We'll Meet Again

I heard this, just fell in love again. LOLz Don't know where, don't know when. But I know it will happen again.

Never say Never I guess. Life takes us down some strange paths.

Him and Her

"Him."
make a due
with a message
hoping that she knows
the recent passing
of an order to the heart
from a mind that has found
one for which it can stop
and think
and think
and think
though it is not enough
the message must come though
I wonder what she'll do.
It's 2 am and I will say
"Hey, great time here
wish you were near."

Send.


"Her."
What the fuck
again with this crap
can't he just see
it was all in a lark.
How obtuse
2 am and he's out
getting drunk and confused
he sure is lost in his thoughts
if he thinks that I care
to know that he's there.
I should just shut off my phone
so he leaves me alone.
Good-night fool.



"Chorus"
So they went on
he just wanted her love
she just wanted to be alone
it wasn't anything beyond truth
that made them both seek excuse
to believe in the dues
and the prices they paid
to be lost in the verse.
So diverse these two
yet unable to truly communicate.
Shame to see them loose their heads
to the red queens offence.

Crumplestilstkin

Crumplestilstkin lives in a rut
in a hole
on a wall
all built around the hall
where he paces
back and fro
like he's in some sort of race
with his shadow
always behind
it's no wonder he's lost
look how it follows
as he paces from the hollows
making every trip
up and down the strip
with his eyes on his back
and his hands on the road
never to share this world
with anyone but his shadow
the one that tried to eat him
the one to get away from.

Just cos you don't see it
it doesn't mean it's not there.

We all have demons
it's a question
of which we are willing to share.

I dunno, why even read this?

mother fucker
i fucking just want to write
but nothing comes out
except this vulgar
coagulated
thought of a spew
that doesn't even
make one bit of sense
I say
what the hell would
I think if I looked back at this
and said "those were the times."
I'd rather lay dead.

Ninth and Holy Day Rd.

Increments of wax melt off in the sun
as the finer points of stars
begin to wither in the dawn.

Making out with the night
the sun burst escapes
over the horizon near the shore
shaping up a bright new day.

"Shall we share
some of this spare change?
I made it out of nowhere
with my road dog and my strings."
Her lips purse like springs
a lazy smile sticks out
from under her weathered hat.
"I've always wanted to try those
you know
the ones they have here.
Nowhere else man,
this is the last place."

It's not like it's forever
that anyone tried to look
but it was a nook
that they laid under
after their last meal
hoping to keep the cold at bay.

My weeping angel.

Manic Mondays
Seep into Wednesdays
all along it's just another day.
Constitutions are broken
moreover tranquility
when the kiss of her lover
will never be felt again.

It comes as easy
as the last storm
does onto the mariner.
Locations never matter
especially to the blind.
It never turns you over
hoping that the sun will shower
your pastures forever
all done in a lark.

Imaginations all flower
in an instant it's soon done
distant callers aroused
in their apprehension
to the passing
of a lifetime.
Yet as it lays there
the one true love
will live on in minds forever
or at least until it's their turn.

My thoughts on New York

This is a blog video from over a year ago, previously unpublished. Gonzo Journalism at it's best? LOLz

Insurrection

Contradictory to you
and to me
is the reality of the situation.

No one knows
or feels
that there is a sane evaluation.

Of the things
that we
thought wold cause hesitation.

When the bulk
of trees
uprooted the grand foundation.

Because

It's not just
to thread
on a land left for the vegetation.

For man
woman
to taste these revelations.

I cried
to sleep
thinking of your emancipation.

To think
that I
worried about that separation.

When truly
you see
it was a plan of out most perfection.

everyone needs a rest

Taking a few days off from this thing. Certain events have occurred that leave me wondering about a lot of other things. Will be back soon though.

RIP Adam H., I'm more than sure you'll be missed.

who_leo

Dear Marie,

     I don't know if you'll ever read this. I almost don't care, but just in case you do I thought I'd share that Bob Dylan's "Blonde on Blonde" album is like a retelling of our short time together. It's almost as if he knew us, and wrote it all down. Weird, I know. Though if you ever do give it a listen, think about it. I guess we weren't the only ones to go through what we did. Funniest part is the fact that now we wont ever see each other again, at least not on purpose, and if so it wont be any time soon. My Sammie-Sam-Sam has helped me a lot to forget about the things we did to each other. I'm glad, especially because I felt like such an idiot. Sam, whose known me for over a decade, reminded me that people who are as her and I deserve so much more than just a fling, more than just a passing face. Though, I must really thank you. It's been a hell of a learning experience. In a way, I've learned to not take things so seriously, and to just relax. Also, to not trust so easily. To not let other men get in the way of what I want. To not allow time and miscommunication to destroy friendships by rotting away at them. Really though, thank you. You've been an inspiration.

who_leo



If you want to know more about the album, click here.

Jimi Hendrix-Day Tripper

Music speaks through all things, emotions, and relative commonalities in existence. love=music.

Making it up as I go along

making amends
is not easy
when you've torn the world
into a million pieces
spread them across
to the stars and galaxies
beyond the reach
of all the things you've dreamed of
so hard to find again
that they wont even fit right in.


it's alright
because nothing is meant to last
everything decays
and that is fine
because even the kiss
of a lover you miss
will one day be a bitter reminder
even though you smile at each other
even though your caress is new
to another
one day it will seem cold and dead.


the pieces that once fit
are obtuse like the mind
that once held them dear
and kept them free
for a world full of dreams and dreamers
where the truth of the matter
is that nothing will ever sound the same
not even when you smack
the same empty words
from your lips to their ears
every time
it feels like a brand new day.


it's not like anyone thought differently
have some more scar tissue on your plate
let the mind take a brake
feel up the ridges of your fissure
only scream when the aching starts again
serrated teeth eat at your insides
shitting out the nights' insight
while you die from it's decay.

Stiltsville: a study of peace.

A clear blue sky
an ocean so blue
the birds they fly
above the dew

Morning comes
with a soft cool breeze
eyes creek open
as the sun warms the skin

Freedom from Babylon
from the traffic
the illusions of people
and their paper faces
here in a place
where calm is more
than just a slow flowing wave
here my heart races
with the rays of the sun
and the trickling water
which soothes the soul

Kindle in the fire

Last night I dreamed
that your kiss wasn't toxic
and that your words rang true
that your hair was still blond and
these hands traveled you
from head to toe
your lips spread for me.

Keeping to your words
I sang a tune of awe
to the smile that you gave me
and I learned to kiss
without my lips.

If only you'd let me
have some more time
with your soft caress
this dream of mine
would have been
just another reminder
instead of a lost wish
upon a well where the lost
children end up dead.

Just in case.

Dear Time Travelers,

     WTF!

Sincerely,
me.

PS
No, seriously, WTF.

Every time I'm with you, I am drunk, and so are you.

I still can't believe that YOU would listen to what some schmuck drugged out pill dealer would tell you, and let something that WE felt was so right, just slip right through our fingers.

So what if I told people how I felt? Did that really bother you that much? Seriously, it wasn't anything so bad, it was just me expressing my want and need for you, a true emotion that could have changed our worlds because you felt it too. I never went as far as to tell anyone anything specific. And when I was sad, lonely, and felt left out I shared those emotions as well because I needed some comfort. Certainly you weren't there.

Sad thing is, that I believe you wanted the same. For a moment at least, before all of the diatribes and all of your friends telling you what you should or shouldn't do.

I knew it, because you and I shared something that I haven't experienced in a long time. You know what I'm talking about, and you shouldn't deny it. Our thoughts commingled, don't you see?

What now? Well, besides trying to forget you, and trying to get myself re-situated, I've got nothing else going on. Meanwhile, you travel the world. Not that I envy you, but I do. Because it seems like it was so easy for you to just walk away from this, like it never meant anything. You even tell me that it was all made up, and that it never happened. Do you think I'm that stupid?

You said I was peddling shit, but I never did such a thing. If you remember (which I don't know if you can, but just in case you can) I never had money. Don't drug dealers have money? Don't they spend lavishly? Because my poor self certainly didn't. I was having a hard enough time trying to just survive. Yet your friend the jack of aces is selling hard core synthetic heroin to people. Yeah, and you were one of them. You think I'm blind? Deaf? Dumb? Well, I have brighter eyes than I let off, because I saw a lot more than you think I did.

For what it's worth, I tried to save you by showing what you were doing to yourself through me, although not to the extremes that you ACTUALLY go to. Didn't it suck? Yeah, well thats how your friends feel. How do you think people react when they know you are all pilled up, or shooting up in some dark room, forgetting everything, letting go of your own self in order to attain some peace when peace was right in front of you all along.

Of course I wondered if all those times you were good to me, nice to me, it was just you fucked up on some drug or another, not giving a damn about me but just seeking your instant gratification. And you had the gull to call me a Taker? You have got to be kidding me. I know all of these things now, and I wonder how you will feel about them a decade from now. Will your upper echelon jobs save you? Or will you still remember all of these sour memories like I do. Will your veins still welcome that needle, will your body still shake and ache without the alcohol. Will you ever realize you are cornering yourself?

Yeah, you know that night, before mothers day? Well, he kept twisting my words, turning them against me. He even said that his purpose was to get me out of the way so he could have you for himself. I'm not so selfish, and maybe that was my problem. So tell me, am I right about that? Didn't it just seem like he wanted me out of the picture? Didn't you feel pressured? Because I sure did.

I miss you. I do, because a friend and a lover like you doesn't come around very often, if at all. As they say, it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. And I loved you. I hope you can understand what that means, and all of the emotions that it entailed from my part. If only we'd been patient. If only that Jack ass hadn't intervened.

Oh, my "ideal friendship," right, that was me trying to accommodate to you. Because I wanted to make you happy. Though now it seems like I never really could have. Since I didn't have money, or cocaine, or heroin, or Roxy's, or any of your tall tale emotional band aids you use to hide who you really are. If only you'd realized your true beauty, the amazing strength of spirit that you harbor within yourself. But no, you let HIM drown you out with drugs and alcohol, all meant to stunt your mind. And the few times I tried to open you up he stunted by selling you drugs and telling you that I was some fucktard, when you two should have been looking in the mirror all along so you could see what was truly wrong. I hope you are happy, I hope you enjoy your life "helping others" while you destroy yourself and make your body a wasteland. Do you know why you didn't get pregnant? Because your body was too toxic to give any life. And if you had, last thing I would have wanted was a child born not just addicted to all of your pills, but also with fetal alcohol syndrome.


"What the hell else are we supposed to do?." - Sparklehorse - Every Time I'm With You.

Tracking thoughts lost

sleepless mornings
spent away
dribbling on about
without a thought in mind
except the deceit
the lies
of human kind



why must we be
so cruel to one another
all along
we just wanted peace
we just wanted to let go
to be free from all of this



it's hard to appreciate
the things that you have
when you've got so many
it's easy to forget
how important they are
until they are gone
and you can't quite
feel the breeze



It all seems
like a well built facade
from his part
into her heart
from a night
when nothing should
and could be
brought forward



because he wanted me out
of the way
so he could bring her about
to his way
all along all I wanted was
to sleep in
but I could never get
myself to sleep
knowing his lies
brewed so deep



so who do you trust?
the one who feeds you poison?
or the one who tries to wake you up?
and do you even know
who plays what part?



being the judge
you made your choice clear
giver her some more opium
her mind is not at ease



.

Something submitted to an internet radio stations' web site.

CAUTION!!!! STRONG LANGUAGE IS USED IN THIS POST. IT'S MOSTLY FOR SENTIMENT. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED, THOUGH IT IS RECOMMENDED IF YOU WISH TO KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THE SOCIETY YOU CURRENTLY PRESIDE IN.




                I’ve been battling how to go about doing this, but whatever, here it goes. PILL HEADS ARE FUCKING STUPID! Ok. There, that seems pretty simple, something they might understand and maybe enough to jargon the memory of the numb to the following:

                All around there is a huge problem with pills. It’s not so much the people, as much as it is the companies who are pushing out these extremely addictive meds in huge numbers, cashing in from every single addict out on the streets who is using it up their nose, on some tin foil, or in their veins. Now hear me out, and pay close attention, and think about this with an open mind. If you are reading this and are one of those people, you need help. If you don’t do something about it, you are just going to rot away. As they say, “you better check yourself before you wreck yourself.” I definitely mean Check into a rehab facility.

                This doesn’t just happen with individuals who are on the streets, heavens no. Those people are smoking crack, or injecting heroin, doing “dirty drugs.” It’s the upper echelons of our society that have taken the mentality of “because a doctor can prescribe it, then it’s good for me;” it is a “clean drug” and not a problem. RiiiiiiiGHT. Unfortunately it is the addictive nature of these prescription drugs that gets people stuck in its clutches, those who often are either trying to get rid of pain, or find them arbitrarily in their lives through others they know, become victims to this EPIDEMIC. Either way, it is something that destroys just like any other addiction one may encounter. So be careful.

                In the recent years I have lost more than a handful of individuals to the pharmaceutical companies, it’s just that I wish I could say that it’s because they landed an awesome job or went out to become superstars. Sadly, be it through death or just having to cut myself off from them, I have found that some just drift away ridding on their modern day dragon into the clouds of their high, not having one care in the world. Because the high they chase is more important than their own welfare, that of their family, or anyone around. Some will do what it takes to keep their supply and buyers going, anything at all, like set someone up, rob, steal, and lie amongst other wrathfully deceitful things. Such is the price people pay for drugs, in particular OPIATES.

                So why put this on Bitch Slap Radio? BECAUSE I JUST DON’T GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE! Because I’m fucking tired of having people around me who I care for loose themselves in something that is just so fucking obscene and life draining. I mean, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT YOURSELVES LATELY? Is it normal for people to look like skeletons, sunken eyes, chapped lips, empty looks and nodding heads? NO! What the fuck are you thinking? Do you seriously believe that what you are doing to yourselves is OK? Do me a fucking favor, and just stop breeding. Let YOU be the last of this fucked up line. Besides, who would take care of your children anyhow? Those who are pill heads can barely stay awake and forget what they are talking about in the moment as they are saying it, what they said to you in the past including promises and just conversation in general, they become COMPLETELY UNRELIABLE! Just not worth having around. PERIOD. It’s sad that most of these people are actually worthwhile individuals who have lost themselves into the void. Sweet dreams, dreamers.

Sincerely,

One Pissed off who_leo

.

Heroin Kisses, Save Me

There was never anything
that her amphetamine dreams
couldn't conjure up
for her mind to be pleased
even if just
momentarily.

Her kiss intoxicated
my mind like a heroin overdose
little did I know
it was just a side effect
of the drugs she was on
that we were on.

It all changes so quickly
when the spilled ashtray
throws all of the roaches
and the used condoms
onto the floor
of our small one bedroom.

It's not like it's the first time
and surely it wont be the last
for the number of arrests
always climbs
inside my heart.

Though I must say
the intoxication lasts
only if her lips
are moist
and willing to part.
My sour amphetamine girl
leaves a trail behind
of carcasses she discards.

My thoughts on Digital Suicide

I ran into a suicide machine:

http://suicidemachine.org/


I'm thinking about using it.

I mean, what would it mean to just cut off my FB, right? Who would mind. Besides the fact I get some readers from there, that wouldn't be that big of a loss. The people I do talk to, I do so in person, phone, or e-mail. FB is more of a game than anything. I'm seriously concidering it. My friend told me about it, and I said to him that we ought to make a FB suicide club, where a bunch of us just off our FB. Might not get that big of numbers though, whatever. I would miss the off shoot contact I have with some family that lives over seas. Otherwise... I would do it right now.

Besides, people take that stupid networking site way too seriously. If people can get upset over FB, then as a whole we aren't mature enough to use something like that. I think loosing all that baggage would be a welcome relief.